Dear Ravi:

After posting you last I realized that my talk about death basically scared you and I understand. It is only recently that I am able to talk/ write about it myself. So, yes, I get it. I am making a mental note of it for the future.

Glad it is okay to discuss the movie otherwise. Will do.

Regarding the message to Jerry, delete it if you can, yes. I am copying it here for editing and commenting in parentheses:

(deleted because it is defensive, repetitive, negative, like you are having an argument with her in your mind, debating). I respect your views and opinions, and I respect your right to make decisions even if I don’t agree with the same (this sounds nice but I would delete this too because I don’t think it is true…) (more deleting, still defending, arguing/ debating) . I accept that I am nobody..(would delete this too because it is self deprecating) I accept that I am a monster (will delete this too because it is not true)

Basically, so far I don’t like anything in your message, all not a good idea, I say.

“I just want to say something. You said that my feelings show you that I understood neither you nor your nature. Let’s say that’s true… (I would delete this too because you are still arguing. So far the message is argumentative so it is all out). Please imagine what it feels like to hear these things after three years of togetherness?(first maybe acceptable sentence because you are suggesting you feel hurt) …”if there’s anything I have never done, it is stopping caring for you, disrespecting you or thinking inappropriately of you (maybe okay)…I unconditionally apologize to you again for everything (to delete, submissive, need not apologize for everything- this just isn’t right- you were done wrong to by the sister and misunderstood by Jerry- you shouldn’t apologize for that, as in “everything”)… “Please try to understand what I’m saying, for once (angry Ravi here as in most of the message, “for once”- as in: you never understand what I am saying!)… I do not have any right to ask you for forgiveness (you go back and forth between arguing and criticizing her and asking for forgiveness, inconsisten).. “But I have to say this, no matter now corny it sounds… I miss you (If it is corny, don’t say it. If you want to say it, don’t say it is corny, or say it in a non corny way)…

My goodness, Ravi- It is like you wrote the worst possible message you can write.

I feel like writing it for you. Why don’t I try, just as an example of the kind of message that would MAKE SENSE!

Dear Jerry:

I miss you so much. I miss you every day. I grew so attached to you for three years, enjoying our communication, your kindness, so very much. Our connection, over the three years meant and still means so much to me. How I wish to have it back.

When I think of communicating with you again, I don’t know if it can or should be as brother/ sister. I would be glad to communicate as platonic friends, which we have been throughout these three years.

I am not lustful for you, Jerry. I do not see you that way. My love for you has always been spiritual, not physical. It is a strong, spiritual love and this is the way it will stay.

As your the spiritual friend I suggest to be to you, I will practice nothing but respectful behavior toward you. Will you be my spiritual friend?

Ravi- this is an example of a message you can send to her (following editing). I wish you take my word for it, the draft you proposed is a bad… bad idea. My message, as an example, is making sense to me. Doesn’t it to you? I developed the concept of “spiritual friends” to suggest a substitution for the bro/ sister context.

anita