You are right. Coincidentally I just came across this quote of Einstein today – “The significant problems we face can not be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.” I guess I need to move up the level of thinking first indeed… as evidence points out I’m still right there. But I’ll do my best to understand and co-operate. 🙂 Thanks again.

Honestly speaking, I never felt Jerry was cruel to me or treated me badly. Yes there were a few times when she too got angry (only recently), but it’s a very understandable human reaction and absolutely nothing compared to how much she had to put up with me. I created those gifts hoping to make her happy and seeing her joy, making her understand that here is someone who genuinely loves her and to whom she’s very special… special because of her virtues which make her such a wonderful and sweet person (because she has this insecurity issue and sometimes told me that she feels nobody except her parents cares for her). I do admit I hoped she could feel how much I love her in that way… but I didn’t intend it in a selfish manner as such (sounds like an oxymoron, I know). Worth mentioning here, I remember when my obsession was growing, I used to keep telling her “I love you, you’re special to me” every other moment and she told me not to say it, saying that those things aren’t spoken in words but expressed in action so the other person feels them.

And yes… she was indeed significantly afraid of her family finding out about me. I too dropped the issue of gifts and meeting her after a while acknowledging that, but the thing is I could not stop thinking about how she meets her cousin brother, my brain showed me images of them hugging and kissing each other. No matter how much my rational side told me that she has genuine reasons for not meeting me, I could not get over her meeting and being intimate with that guy. I know it’s cheap of me and I cannot forgive myself for it.

• This reply was modified 8 years, 4 months ago by ravi_zimmerfan.