I don’t deny that I’m clearly not good at effective communication. But it doesn’t mean I did not care for her perspective of the event, her feelings. I didn’t write the full convo here; when Jerry messaged me the last time, part of my first message was this – “I know you always loved me as your brother only, you never expected me to feel like this and I know how betrayed and hurt you felt on learning about my feelings. I knew you will feel that way and that’s why I had chosen to keep them from you and confess only to those friends.” I wasn’t imposing my views on her here or trying to dictate what she’s feeling. I said it because her sister kept saying “we never expected this from you”.

I realize now I should have asked her more about how she feels… but how could I have done it? “Are you feeling hurt? Please tell me how you feel, don’t hesitate” sounds so corny and rather pushy. I honestly don’t know how I could’ve asked that to her. 🙁