Thanks so much everyone for the advice, it gives me a lot to think about!! Thats exactly how I feel +katiebd and it even gets the point where I get this side bought out of me i didnt even know i had! I’m naturally a HSP (highly sensitive person) so it doesn’t help at times but when he yells I can’t handle it and end up crying or saying horrible things back out of desperation for it to all stop. He says anger is a normal emotion and i just shouldn’t bring up topics that make him this angry. He comes back later and apologizes and kisses/hugs me and says I’m sorry, i promise i’m trying to change but yes it is starting to feel like a bit of a toxic cycle.

+Inky I completed a diploma which helps but yes my plan was to go back and finish my degree. I’m a graphic designer so iv fortunately found just as much value in work experience (and cheaper!) but it is something i have wondered lately. Thanks I might have to do that 🙁

+eightyhd that is really helpful thankyou, do you have any ideas how I Can encourage him to be more awakened or inward? I know it helps when we go surfing but he constantly works on his computer day and night its hard to pull him away, maybe staring at a screen for 18 hours contributes to it too.