Dear Chau:

You wrote in your last post that you think you are clinging to your ex, emotionally, not necessarily because of attachment to her but because you don’t want to feel good, to be okay; that you are trying to punish yourself.

This is a very significant thought and I would like to examine it more before it is possible to let it go. Not that it would be possible to do it on this thread. It may require psychotherapy. But if you want to look more into it here, can you write more about this:

When did you first notice that you are giving yourself a hard time because you believe you deserve punishment?

In what relationship did this belief originate?

Why do you believe you deserve punishment, as early as you can go back into the past?

anita