Hey djindji,

Before I reply, it feels as though you have a resolution. Perhaps I add this, more for contemplation material if you choose 🙂

All religions, and philosophies have similar threads, and Buddhism is no exception. I researched most of them when I was younger to understand my inner path.

My advice comes from a zen saying which confused me for many years. I understand it intellectually, and then deeper as time went on, to now on a more spiritual level.

The saying is….

At first mountains are mountain, and rivers are rivers
Then mountains are no longer mountains, and rivers are no longer rivers
then finally mountains are mountains, and rivers are rivers

My understanding around this is that the many religions, and philosophies are there to point to a truth that is unable to be put into words. The closer you define it, the further you are from understanding it. The tools given to reveal this truth, are to ‘strip’ your mind of all the labels, judgements, opinions, conclusions, beliefs as to what is….
This is the first part of the saying – to recognise mountain, rivers, plants, people, separation, judgements, beliefs, etc…

Once you ‘see’ or recognise these things within yourself, your inner journey begins by removing these limiting mind objects that seperate you from everything around you. This journey is the initial path to understanding that you are not just a physical being, nor are you defined by your beliefs,and circumstances. Your identity shifts from being Evan, or Peter, or Jane, or ‘djindji’. Your ideas around life, the universe and everything are no longer as explainable, nor does it make sense to your mind. Your mind is ‘part’ of the everything, yet it thinks itself to be ‘apart’ from everything. This is confronting, and confusing, and many people turn back the the comfort of the mind, until the universe offers them another opportunity (or lifetime) to once again look within…..
This is the second line – mountains are not just mountains, as that is simply a label for communication sake now….

The third line is the inner recognising – the initial stage of enlightenment, and the new ‘identification’ if you will. There are no labels, or names that can express who you really are. There can only be sign posts and tools of communication to understand one another. For example, My name is Evan, yet that is just a name, and without it, emailing becomes very difficult 😉 To call a flower a ‘flower’ is to limit its true existence, and expression of living energy. defining something with a few letters, or vocal grunts and sounds, can never ‘define’ what it is. As you feel this endless space within then………

Mountains are mountains, and rivers are rivers…….. Simply they just are, and the label is understood as just that.

Best

Evan – or am I 🙂