Hi, nyres817.

Thank you for your reply.

From what she told me, the skills and priorities of her parents were not conducive to lovingly, caringly, and effectively raising children. As I mentioned to Anita, though, I don’t really know what to believe about what she said. I think the fact that she manifests the behaviors she does suggests that she may have had at least some significant deficiencies in her upbringing. As you suggest, I think she probably has never experienced a healthy relationship to know how one functions, either.

To clarify, she ended the relationship, albeit with my tacit (but full) agreement. Since abandonment was a primary element in her fear of intimacy, I did not want to be the one to leave. Nonetheless, she did me an immeasurable kindness by ending the relationship. I don’t think, however, that she felt any loss whatsoever about me being gone from her life. I know she had orbiters (people she was developing to become temporary interests), and I learned that she was seeing other people while seeing me.

I will not reach out to her, and we’ve had what closure is necessary.

I am happy to hear that you are more yourself than ever before. I hope all the best for you.

CMI