Dear Macncheesey85:

I like the way you are helping your friends:
1. ” listening to their concerns and worries
2. “trying to ask questions to help steer them towards answers
3. “not suggest solutions” (unless they ask you for such?)
4. “assume that I’ve been in the same spot or understand how they feel.
5. “With full disclosure, I share what’s been happening with me”

By asserting yourself when you feel overextended or to prevent you being overextended you teach them, by your example, how to be assertive. So do it as a way to take care of yourself AND do it well, so that they learn how to assert themselves. It is a much needed skill and not enough people do it well. Be that person for them, a person who asserts herself well, clearly, specifically, respectfully.

anita