Thank you all very much for your responses, I really appreciate you taking the time to do so. I apologise for how long it has taken me to respond.

I absolutely agree that I should not trust the man who is engaged and that I shouldn’t be waiting for him to choose, also that he probably will never leave his fiancee, and is just biding time. Logically, I know this and keep telling myself to let him go. Emotionally I am completely in love with him and can’t concentrate on anything else. I have been away for a few days and even in a different country I cannot get him out of my head. It makes me feel physically ill at the thought of him not being in my life.

I love my husband but I am not IN love with him and care for him as a friend. I am tempted to try and make things work so I am not alone but I cannot live a lie.

So, the plan is to let them both go. How do I cope emotionally?