Anita,

I was not what I would consider mistreated as a child; was my life perfect? By no means. But was I abused etc, No. Were all of my previous relationships perfect? No they were not but, were any of them like I felt in this one? No. Was I mentally abused in my other relationships? No. So YES I would definitely agree that I was STUNNED that a man of this age who told me everything I wanted to hear about how good he would treat me… then turned around and treated the worst mentally & emotionally I had EVER been treated by anyone in my life? Yes, I am/was stunned. I DO think that when I was younger if I was in a “bad” relationship I was quicker to get out and just move on BECAUSE I was young and I figured I still had my whole life ahead of me. I am not OLD now per se but I am not 22 either. I was HOPING when I met this man that this would be the LAST man I would ever be with, we would spend the rest of our lives together and grow old together. I GUESS THAT part was my fault because I believed he wanted the same thing. So, here I am OLDER and wiser but longing to be truly loved BY ONE man who I can love and grow old with. I guess I am fortunate to have not seriously been mistreated in many ways by many people but THIS was the most painful experience of MY life. So I don’t FEEL fortunate. And again I FEEL crazy because I still love and miss him. I miss hearing his voice, his smell, his touch. So I am upset with myself that It’s so hard to let go of a person who MAY not even miss me as well and put on quite an ACT of “loving & caring” for me?! THAT is unfortunate.

Butterfly