Hi Anita and all

I hope all is well!
I am just trying to come back and let everyone knows I am sound and safe 🙂
It’s been quite sometime after this breakup, and I do feel a lot more energized at this moment.
I have come to terms that these two people have left my life,and I don’t victimize myself anymore, I actually feel good that I have learned so much about myself through this.I am re-prioritizing things in life, and am spending more time taking care of my parents and myself.
I have having been refraining myself from contacting my ex, and last week, I finally did. I had this urge for a very long time, i know i have to do it. I was still wondering previously if she was thinking of me, but didn’t contact because she was scared to hurt me.

But since I have initiated the contact, there was no reason why she would withhold herself if she wants to talk to me.Unless, she doesn’t want to contact me at all.
We talked very briefly on non-personal things. and that’s it.

So that’s the conclusion, she doesn’t want to contact me or care for me at all.
That’s cleared my query.

It’s a pity, knowing how much she thought she wished to marry me previously. But this infatuation is too fragile to stand. While she could just leave me when she thought i mistreated her and belittled her, to minimize the hurt. She chose to secure herself with someone else before she left, ignoring the agony that she has put me through.

I didn’t know how i get cured. It’s just like i wake up day by day, and suddenly realized i am not that bothered.
I also feel very blessed, especially when I realized there are other people who has gone through trauma, yet didn’t have the resources to get better.
Some lose their job if they slack off, some need to take care of their children/families, some don’t have that many friends to accompany them. some don’t have the previous resources or strength that I have built up along all these years, to sustain till now.
I have none of these burdens.

I work with people who have emotional problem, and having gone through a period of depression(I kind of self-diagnosed since I am in the mental health field), I gained tremendous understanding of how helpless it could be when you were depressed.and i finally understand what these people are going through, that kind of emotional understanding is rare to get.

So I feel very blessed and grateful in the end, and that I can see who is really good to me, and who actually just walk all over me.

And thank you the tiny buddha community, it’s so great to be heard and receive so many insights from it.

Take good care everyone

Chau