Dear Sugarhut,
You are not a weak person, Trust me its not easy to detach from a narcissistic abuse( İ,m not an expert but). I have been there. and most empathetic people find it hard to detach. I can give you one advice. when you get time and when you are relatively calm just go for a walk or somewhere where you feel calm and talk to yourself. Ask your self why am I here. what am I getting from this relationship? what can I do better and with out judging yourself or feeling shame just let the answers come to you. Take it slow one day at a time make small changes. and I hope he wont be physically abusive if ever you decide to leave.
But one thing I will tell you Dont make plans thinking he will change because things may escalate to something worse and they usually do. I cried asking myself the same question as you why i stay in a hurtful relationship but that is the first step of stepping out. so congratulations you are one step closer to the solution. İ will pray for you and Please please dont be so hard on your self. Just start slow and take out one small toxic thing from your life and another and another. Read peoples stories and find courage! İt is scary to step into the unknown but the universe will reward you for being true to yourself and stepping out of whats not serving you. xx
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 