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  • September 18, 2016 at 5:04 am #115499
    slider
    Participant

    Is anyone familiar with the enneagram. I am a type nine and I have difficulty in focusing on myself. All my life I do everything to direct attention away from me. Especially when there is conflict, I downplay the situation and I never say how I feel. I am the invisible man. This is affecting my marriage. My wife is a type 8. She wants to fight about everything. I don’t want to fight. This is killing our relationship. We are at the point of going our separate ways.

    September 18, 2016 at 5:58 am #115503
    VJ
    Participant

    Dear slider,

    I just looked through what are type nine and eight personalities of enneagram.
    I know you mentioned that you are on the verge of parting ways. But while you continue your conversations with members of the site for your immediate concerns I recommend you going through Eckhart Tolle’s book ‘The Power of Now’ about taking relationships as a spiritual practice. Relationships are like homework assignments from Life. The book will not only help in your present relationship but also in future ones (and not necessarily only the life-partner ones). This book is not for relationships only but applicable to all areas of life.

    http://newworldlibrary.com/NewWorldLibraryUnshelved/tabid/767/articleType/ArticleView/articleId/255/RELATIONSHIPS-AS-SPIRITUAL-PRACTICE-An-Excerpt-from-THE-POWER-OF-NOW-by-Eckhart-Tolle.aspx#.V96KZfB97IU

    Available on:

    Best Wishes!
    VJ

    September 18, 2016 at 8:11 am #115505
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear slider:

    How do you feel about the ending of your marriage?

    anita

    September 18, 2016 at 8:54 am #115511
    slider
    Participant

    Hi Anita, I feel that I would be happier and able to be myself. I even feel guilty for feeling this. I worry that if it ends, who is going to take care of her.

    September 18, 2016 at 9:09 am #115520
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear slider:

    You are worried that she will not take care of herself well enough: how or why do you believe that she is unable to take care of herself well outside the marriage with you?

    anita

    September 18, 2016 at 9:20 am #115523
    slider
    Participant

    I think that I confuse wanting to take care of someone a lot with love. I don’t know if it makes me feel kind of superior.

    September 18, 2016 at 9:36 am #115527
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear slider:

    How have you been taking care of her so far?

    anita

    September 18, 2016 at 9:45 am #115528
    slider
    Participant

    hi anita,
    i’m a provider. my wife herself says that i treat her more like a daughter than a wife. that i have two daughters.

    September 18, 2016 at 7:17 pm #115553
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear slider:

    I hope that you shake off the parts of Type 9 that do not work for you, keep what does… then view the other types for the parts that you can add to yours. Make a Super-Slider-Type.

    And better not fight, of course Better be separated than together in war, especially with a child whose.. type (that is Mind) is being formed by absorbing the environment of her home.

    (I don’t like personality typing…)

    anita

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