Anita:

Very, very funny about the judge and my social life. He/she doesn’t care. They care about their social lives, and sometimes the social lives of criminal defense attorneys (i.e. will continue if defense has a vacation planned). They don’t give two hoots in hell about attorneys working for the State, we are fungible items. Amusingly, the state supreme court is more likely to grant extensions of time than the local trial courts are.

I remember getting told by the first woman that she didn’t think my schedule would allow such things as travel out of the country. I don’t get it. One out of three lunches gets axed because I got a flaming sack of feces on the desk, and one was delayed due to getting trapped in court. It’s not like I never showed up for any of them. What am I supposed to say? Sorry Officer Bob, your search warrant paperwork to recover the weapon just used in “X” will have to wait because I have a lunch date?

I get suspicious of people who are always immediately available. Stuff happens. If you aren’t busy, less stuff happens. Think of the women who post on these fora about how great husband/boyfriend was when they first met, etc., and then they discovered that the guy is basically lazy and worthless lout. Nobody ever stops to think how/why the guy can be so attentive, etc. early on? It’s easy to be attentive, etc. when you don’t have anything going on and you see a gravy train approaching.

I mean really, what would be better to have as a significant other… one of those pot-head types, somebody who is , or somebody who probably works too much and is pessimistic but is faithful and actually contributes financially?

And, what is “enough” time? I was working with a detective on a significant new case that needed to get dealt with ASAP. His new wife called him asking when he was going to get home. Isn’t the obvious answer when the matter gets done? What does calling do other than increase the amount of time it takes to get the project done by creating a distraction?

I admit that I just don’t get the social thing. I am tired of being single at 39, but just am having a hell of a time conquering the social thing. I also don’t get the whole “happy” thing, and am apparently good at “killing” a room so-to-speak. Intense interest in changing the situation, but nothing works.

Passed the deadline of my goal of being in a relationship. Watching others find folks, but no clue how they are actually accomplishing that. I do know that I’m tired of being single.