Dear Learning:

This is my suggestion: let your in-laws deal directly with your patents, don’t mediate between them. If your mother in-law wants to meet your mother, let her contact your mother herself, not through you. It is not your job to orchestrate such get-togethers (no wonder you are exhausted!).

You can make your life easier by… keeping it simple. Be responsible for your (first party) communications with any one individual (second party), not for the communications between a third party (ex. your in-laws) and another third party (your parents).

And about your mother in-law thinking you are not good enough for her son: sounds to me she was and is not good enough (mother) for her son. If she was good enough for him, he wouldn’t have been the abusive to you when you first got together. So is her opinion of any value, really?

anita