Dear Shirley, Earth Angel:

I need to talk to your inner bully myself, so here: Bully in Shirley, you have no right talking like that to Shirley, no right to call her names! Nothing you say to Shirley is valid and she shouldn’t listen to you. The moment she identifies your voice, she should disengage from you, turn her ears away so that what you say doesn’t sound like words but like some kind of an unpleasant siren (or better, the sound of a meteor crashing).

What you say to Shirley is not valid; none of it is to be considered. You are a bully. All you want to do is to hurt Shirley. How dare you! Be quiet. Silent! I have no respect for you and you deserve no attention.

Back to Shirley: yes, try to disengage- don’t even talk to the bully. Just as you wouldn’t- or shouldn’t- engage in a conversation with a person who calls you names, who bullies you, don’t engage with the inner bully. Try not to hear the words it says. Take a deep breath and hear a siren or a meteor crashing. Again and again.

(I got upset reading what your inner bully said about you! how disrespectful and how unacceptable!!!)

Going to bed now. I hate that inner bully, I really do.

I think your financial aid papers will get fixed and go through. As you face pressure, keep yourself as calm as possible. You can and will make it, Earth Angel: You do have what it takes!

anita