Dear Shirley, Earth Angel:

Your Story, my editing: I eliminated redundant words, “really” “also” “often” “and” “so”, other repetitions and ambiguous contradictory stuff) because it was in the way of making the important points, diluting the potency of the real issues.

* Regarding the names of students you are using, if your story is to be given to a teacher who may know those students, better use fictitious names.

* If you are trying to include as many words as possible (# of words being a requirement), fine, but not at the cost of quality. If you believe the following HEAVILY edited version includes what you are trying to communicate, and strongly, then you can add to it but not dilute it.

** (after the editing): my goodness, Shirley! I became emotional, disturbed and sad to read what the bullies told you, the words they used, how hurtful they were- and still are as they are used my the inner bully. I am so sorry you heard those words. I am sad. I just finished the editing and I think I did a very good job. Your story now is much clearer, not repetitious, strong in the emotions expressed and the issues brought up. Let me know what you think.

Here is my edited version of your story:

I never cared for athletics when I was in elementary school. I often found myself while at recess reading, drawing or helping the teacher. I was often teased because I wasn’t interested in sports. My classmates made remarks about my ethnicity, calling me a “geeky Asian girl”. I laughed at myself along with them, and most of the time they would go away and bother someone else. When they did, I stepped in and defended that person. I was the person who would sit with someone who was different and who was bullied.

In Elementary, I was young and the world was new. I had a lot of good friends and great teachers, so the teasing didn’t sink in. In middle school, Sixth grade, a new school, without most of my friends from Elementary, I was became shy and focused academics (got straight A’s). There was a girl who used to crack bad jokes about me to her friends. I had a few guy friends who defended me. There were times when I saw her as an insecure person and I helped her with school work. In fact, we are friends now.

It was during sixth grade that I became a Buddhist-wiccan, following one of my guy friends. At seventh grade, most of my friends were in different classes, and no one in my classes wanted to be my friend. They all thought I was weird because I was a Buddhist-wiccan. A few were jealous because I had higher test scores and was in advanced algebra.

I tried to be friends with some students, but they ignored me. That hurt! I heard other students whisper: “look there goes that girl who sold her soul to the devil!”

Wicca is a nature oriented religion. It is using natural energy of the divine to bring about harmony and balance with nature. Buddhism is about walking your own path and making your choices, making yourself whole, much like Wicca.

I met Jaydah, a Lacrosse friends. but she moved away during the end of first semester. I made friends with Elisha, but she often talked about how the world was against her and how death would be better. She dragged me down and I got more labels attached to me by other students for being her friend; they said: “Look, there goes the two crazy and delusional people who are depressed.”

Toward the end of the second semester of the seventh grade I met my special friend. He and I shared a public speaking class and I helped him with his homework. He invited me to play soccer with him. There were times when I felt so sad, thinking I had no friends, and my special friend would say “I’m here for you, it’s okay.”

He introduced me to his friends and they became my friends. We played soccer, lacrosse and hockey. My special friend kept telling me that Elisha wasn’t a good friend for me and she was heading for trouble, but I didn’t want to believe him. I wanted to help Elisha.

As eighth grade came along, I felt l burdened, sad and sometimes I cried myself to sleep. I often didn’t think anyone cared about me because I didn’t have many friends. But my special friend and his friends were always there for me throughout seventh and eighth grade to help me through difficult times.

During the second semester of my eighth grade year, I met Aaliyah. She is one of my closest friends today. she said that at first she had the same first impression other people had of me, that I was weird, but later, she realized that I was a normal person who needed a friend.

When I became friends with Aaliyah, I dropped Elisha as my friend. It was hard at first, but Aaliyah and my special friend pulled me through it.

During high school, I made a vow that I wasn’t going to let bullies define who I was. In freshman year of high school, I had lots of friends and my grades were great. Last year I was part of the gymnastics team. the girls in the team accepted me for who I was and I felt that I truly belonged in the team. My teammates provided me with support and gave me confidence in myself. I had to quit the team, though, before the end of the season because I had to help out at my parents’ restaurant. My gymnastics teammates are still my friends, but my withdrawal from the team made me feel sad.

Still during the gymnastics season, when I came home from a practice, a guy saw me wearing a leotard. He said: “you don’t have the body for a gymnast. Your **** is too big. You’re showing off your body. You think you’re so good, but you are a weak, pathetic loser.”

I was shocked at his comment and walked away. Later, in my junior year, those hurtful, critical words kept repeating themselves, in my own mind.

Later on another guy made fun of me, calling me Ugly, saying I had no right to be good at sports because I was a girl. He went further with his insults, saying that I was pretending to be a boy and I didn’t have the body to be an athlete. He said that my chest wasn’t toned, that I had big thighs and that my behind was too large.

I developed a workout program and felt happy about it, but later my inner criticism started again and I tried to hide my body, afraid that someone will make a rude comment about it. I felt inferior to guys for being a girl.

I worked out in nature, alone, where no one would see me and i hid myself. My inner critic, whom I call my inner bully, often said to me: “look, the guys were right. You will never be an athlete. You are powerless as a girl. Your chest is too big. Look, everyone hates you. You’re nothing.”

All I wanted was peace from the chatter in my mind. I achieved some peace in July of junior year through meditation, but something triggered my inner bully again when my parents yelled at me for not knowing any life skills (they criticized me repeatedly before for not having good enough grades and otherwise). My inner bully picked that up and was at full watt saying: “See no one likes you. You’re a failure. You know nothing.”

There will always be something that will trigger my inner bully and I need to work on letting my inner bully go. As I type this, I am in my senior year of high school, and still working on letting go of the past. However, I’m unsure of how to let go and be a confident person. I am not sure how to trust someone. I am afraid a person will see me as a weak person and will betray me.