Alavos,
Hey Netherlands, cool. I spent a few hours on a layover in Amsterdam from Schiplol airport almost ten years ago, beautiful city.
Anyway aside from that it looks as if you are on your own when it comes to dealing with your past. If the two doors from your past won’t open back up for you then the responsibility lies on yourself. The first person you need to start loving is yourself, plain and simple. Afterwards then you can occupy yourself with going to law school and babysitting this guy in your life. Yeah, exactly what I said you are his babysitter not girlfriend, not lover, there is a chance for friendship, but as of right now nope. I surprised law school has not given you the confidence and high self esteem to better improve your life, but I guess it’s true what they say, you can have a top job in society such as doctor, lawyer or engineer and still be sad.
Thank you and take care
-AP85