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Adam P

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 90 total)
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  • #128671
    Adam P
    Participant

    Hey there Pats12,
    Congrats on finding the answer to this situation on your own. Understanding the fact that you are being used for attention and discovering that it is not an authentic relationship/friendship. The easiest way to handle this would be to once again state how you are having difficulty contributing to the friendship. As you mentioned before when you called her out on her actions, she began to get defensive and projected it on toward you. Avoid this at all costs the next interaction.
    The next time you see “M” let her know of the difficulty you are having and let her know that you are not able to handle it. Slowly after some time begin to break contact with her and start living your life once again. Of course she may do you the favor and after you let her down easily, she may not want to talk with you any longer because you showed actual human emotions and she won’t be able to handle it aka “use you”. I went through what you’re going through as well with girls in my early 20s. After some time I got tired of all the games and hidden agendas and went back to being direct and honest to the point. They are out of my life, no contact and I’m much more at peace.
    Hope it all works out. I know it will.
    Thank you and take care
    -AP85

    #126220
    Adam P
    Participant

    You already know what to do, life is just showing you a path to it.

    You already know what you want to accomplish at this birthday party so fulfill it.

    Your presence will be a gift to your friend at her birthday party, but it will be you who will also receive a present as well.

    Thank You and Take Care,
    AP 85

    #125757
    Adam P
    Participant

    Hi there Manii,

    Welcome and thank you for posting. Regarding the problems you are experiencing with your depression and anxiety would be instead of masking the problems, but rather face them head on. One solution to help combat your anxieties and fears would be to acknowledge them. I’m not sure if you have completed this in therapy, if not then acknowledge them. Whether it be through oral or writing them down. Have a hard and honest conversation with yourself including “WHY” statements and answering them. When you can acknowledge your fear/anxieties, it puts you in control of overpowering and conquering them. This acknowledge practice can also be applied when you feel certain triggers approaching your mental state. A simple “STOP” and process the situation helps. Over time and as weeks/months pass, you can help wean yourself off the medication and use your mind as the best kind of prescription.
    Thank You and Take Care
    -AP85

    #124049
    Adam P
    Participant

    Hi there XenopusTex,
    In simple terms: don’t worry about when things may improve or get better with the state of the world. Just be concerned with your state from within. That way you will be able to traverse the choppy waters that surround you in this thing called life. Letting the external elements disrupt it from within is the reason why there is chaos and unrest.
    Stay informed of what’s going on around you, but not too informed and continue to focus on your inner self everyday.
    Thank you and take care
    AP85

    #124048
    Adam P
    Participant

    Anything by Napoleon Hill will be a great service to your mind and well being.
    Thank you and take care,
    AP85

    #124047
    Adam P
    Participant

    Rosaly,
    I hope you had an enjoyable holiday with your friends at the Christmas party.
    Happy New Year!
    Thank You and Take Care.
    AP85

    #123874
    Adam P
    Participant

    Hi there Jen,
    The problem is not that you have difficulty selecting a career path, it’s the self discipline that you lack. The career path is just an “extra” addition in your life and the lack of self discipline adds to or complicates it. I would go back to your first post and after rereading it, suggest journaling ALL your thoughts and feelings regarding both Chinese and Digital Design. It’s obvious from your first post that you enjoy language and culture. Not to mention that you already know a language from the nation that has been and will continue to be heavily involved with both the economic and political sectors of the world. With the culture career, you placed outside/external barriers to succeeding. With the Digital Design, you don’t even enjoy it.How do I know? You just told us. I would do some more self digging when it comes to a career in language/culture with your background in Chinese and DEEPLY analyze yourself in both the culture career and digital design career. As well working on your self discipline is your 1st key step and if you can afford it, maybe hire a life coach.
    Thank You and Take Care
    -AP85

    #123780
    Adam P
    Participant

    tuxbsl,

    You are in the combination of a depression stage with confusion thrown in with self actualization. KEEP GOING! KEEP DOING THE WORK! KEEP MOVING FORWARD!
    “Generally I feel like I have completed what I was put here to accomplish.”
    -A common trap many people who start self actualizing believe. After they have reached their so called enlightenment, they believe that is it. No more work to do. Then they go back to their regular lives and fall back into old habits.
    I would suggest staying off social media and continue on your path to self growth. Going on social media to tell everyone about your self actualization is somewhat of a paradox. How the f-ck are you supposed to grow when you are concerned about posting status updates about your development and waiting for approval from others. Whenever you may meet up with friends and they ask you how you are doing, just respond that you are doing well and making a few changes in your life. Keep it simple and basic.
    Also if you have not checked out this website, it’s pretty informative:
    http://actualized.org/

    Thank You and Take Care
    -AP85

    #123770
    Adam P
    Participant

    Hi there Veronica,

    When it comes to angels or spiritual messages, I do believe that there is some presence and that there could be some form of contact, but for the most part the responsibility lies on your shoulders. One great mistake in life is over relying on superstition to help guide your life. Think of it more as a post it note that somebody left on your computer or desk to help remind you of a task or chore that needs to be completed. I’m pretty sure that nobody sits at their desk and overthinks or concentrates heavily on that post it note. They either accomplish the task or leave it there. As well, energy is a key factor or contributor when it comes to receiving spiritual messages. Remember all those numbers that you have emotional attachment to are stored deep down in your subconscious. (I,e: People who play lotto numbers)
    Take for example my situation, more specifically my username. The reason why I have the “85” in my username is due to the fact that my grandfather passed away at that age and he was a person who I thought would continue to “be there” for me. But unfortunately he had to physically pass away. But the energy is still there and that’s why 85 is sentimental to me, and it motivates me to improve myself and others. while for example other numbers such as 75 or 84 mean nothing to me.
    One exercise I would suggest would be a meditation activity where you sit in silence and clear your mind of all emotional attachments to numbers, signs, etc. (I should do it as well) When your mind is clear then you begin to experience the feeling of living life without the emotional attachment and understand that they are just numbers or objects. This way of thinking though requires continuous practice and strong discipline.
    Thank You and Take Care
    -AP85

    #123674
    Adam P
    Participant

    Hi there Veronica,
    Aside from the regular advice of going to get help and seeking it from a professional therapist or psychiatric doctor, I would care to ask you what has made you want to think about ending your life and the reasons behind them. Whenever we experience negative thoughts or have fears surrounding a concern, most of the time we give just plain and dry responses. Regarding your situation your response to why you feel depressed is due to the fact that you are feeling empty. What in your past has caused you to feel empty and emotionally drained?
    With positive affirmations, the key here is to incorporate them into a daily habit. What I mean by this is that everyone not just yourself benefits greatly from reading positive affirmations or goals each morning and every night. It is especially essential in the morning because what we read and see seeps down deep into our subconscious mind and carries on during the rest of the day and in our future.
    Thank You and Take Care
    -AP85

    #123539
    Adam P
    Participant

    Hi there vidalevi,
    After reading your post, the thing that stood out for me was that even though you are in your thirties, you mention how you have the look of a high schooler. Embrace it. It means that as you age you will continue to look young and have that presence of youth. Just as you said you are capturing the attention of men around campus who have noticed you. Don’t worry chances are they are just as nervous as you are. If there is a guy that you find eye catching, then start things slow and message him through social media. Don’t be afraid to make the 1st move. What’s the worst that could happen, he does not reply to you. You did not know him before so why should it matter afterwards.
    Thank you and take care
    -AP85

    #123538
    Adam P
    Participant

    Rosaly,
    A wonderful idea would be to brighten somebody else’s holiday especially an individual who is working today. Doing a good deed for the person at work such as a compliment or a generous tip would lift their spirits.
    Another idea would be going above and beyond, but it’s very heartfelt would be to just randomly call a customer service hotline(maybe an electronics company since they will be swamped and stressed) and just wish the person on the other line a Happy Holiday and let them know they are doing a good job.
    Thank you and take care
    -AP85

    #123537
    Adam P
    Participant

    Hi there healedsoul86,
    First off I would like to offer my congratulations on surviving all of that trauma during your childhood. It’s good to see that you have a good relationship with them. Second of all would be whenever you see “happy” couples to take it with a grain of salt, especially on social media. It does not matter whether it is in real life or on the internet, people make sure to present their “best face” when it comes to what they have in their lives. One suggestion I have for you and it worked wonders for me was doing a Facebook “cleanse” where you still keep your profile, but stay offline from it. You contact your close friends by phone or text. Also you stay strong when Facebook starts spamming your email telling you what you are missing or how it misses you. After some time has passed, you will not miss it and you may log back in and just roll your eyes at everything you see or you may just start a new chapter in your life and unplug from social media entirely. The choice is yours. All the best.
    Thank you and take care,
    -AP85

    #123536
    Adam P
    Participant

    Sigfred,
    The reason why you have this way of thinking of “I’m not good at anything at all” would be the fact that first you are not at peace with yourself. The second thing that you need to do after achieving inner peace would be to incorporate massive action to your life. This would include creating a type of daily routine. I would also recommend trying meditation and learning to be comfortable with yourself. Regarding the action part, there must be some activities that you would like to try that have interested you such as playing an instrument or activity such as drawing or painting(these two are very relaxing activities).
    Remember there is no shame for asking for help from a professional. You knows they might suggest an outlet that will help you find yourself.
    Thank you and take care
    -AP85

    #123535
    Adam P
    Participant

    ragatanga,
    My sympathies to you during this holiday season. As an American man I can’t speak on behalf the entire nation, but truth be told in a way people are the “same” throughout the world. You met an American guy, the same could have happened with a Canadian, British, etc. man. When it comes to emotions such as unconditional love and feelings, men including myself have trouble expressing them. I really do wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happier New Year.
    As for the best way to cope and handle the stress of the holidays especially with today being Christmas would be to have a day dedicated to yourself. I would not normally recommend it, but since it seems you have already hit rock bottom. Before you start your recovery and self improvement I would say indulge in your favorite activities. You know unleash that stress on a carton of ice cream or cookies and enjoy the time watching your favorite movies. Afterwards, I would recommend reading the book 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It is worth investing the time learning from your mistakes and improving your future.
    Seasons Greetings
    Thank you and Take Care
    -AP85

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 90 total)