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Feeling so low and lonely

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  • #122868
    Leigh
    Participant

    Life is beginning to be unbearable I have always struggled to find partners but the last year it has really effecting my life I feel that there must be something wrong me.feel like that I can’t go any where without seeing happy couples and that everyone else can find someone.it hurts to see women I’m attracted to because I know I do not have a chance.watching Tv is becoming painful because seems all programs remind me I’m alone seeing people post how there do in love with the partner on facebook is like being stabbed thru the heart.feel so inadequate and that I’m cursed and that I will never find anyone feel life is not worth it because I feel so down tryed dating sites and go out and about quite a bit but just can’t meet anyone all I wanna do lately is sleep just dont understand why I deserve to feel like this.

    #122870
    anita
    Participant

    Dear lostsoul86:

    You don’t deserve loneliness and misery. I relate to much that you wrote. I didn’t deserve it either. Like you, I felt inadequate, but that too, in retrospect, wasn’t true. I was adequate.

    Would you like to share about your childhood- how was that like?

    anita

    #122878
    Leigh
    Participant

    Cheers for the reply. My child hood was a bit hectic I have good parents but the argued a lot and dad sufferd with bad depression and tryed to kill himself a few times and was sectioned Quite a few times.i was bullied at primary school and struggled with hand writing then secondary School I was bullied hit tied to a post so never realy went much then I went to boarding school which I enjoyed butt was bullied and nearly raped by 2 boys and then that school had to close so went to another school where I was bullied worse called egg head alien head and genuinely Picked on.got kicked out of there then when I was 17i was in a major car crash and I lost my eye sight in one eye and got 60%in the other.

    #122884
    anita
    Participant

    Dear lostsoul86:

    This is a very traumatic childhood, when your parents argue a lot; when your father suffered depression and tried to kill himself; when you were repeatedly bullied at schools you attended and probably had no one to help you at home, since your parents were busy with their mental illnesses and arguments.

    This means you were a lonely child and very much in pain. Losing your eyesight doesn’t help your feelings of inadequacy, which you mentioned in your original post here.

    For me to understand your current situation better, I ask: are you 30 years old? Do you live alone or with family? Do you work…What is your current relationship with your mother? Your father?

    anita

    #122898
    Leigh
    Participant

    Yer I’m 30 I live with my mum and dad at the mo I have a good relationship with them But realy like living with them but can’t afford to live anywhere else at the mo

    #122899
    anita
    Participant

    Dear lostsoul86:

    Are your parents no longer arguing? Is your father no longer depressed?

    What is a “good relationship” with your parents mean to you?

    anita

    #122900
    Leigh
    Participant

    No they don’t argue and like the relationship With them

    #122904
    anita
    Participant

    Dear lostsoul86:

    It’s good they don’t argue anymore and it is also good that you like the relationship you currently have with them. I sure hope your quest to find a love partner will materialize. I remember very well how lonely I was, for so many, many years. I used to watch couples on the street, holding hands while I was alone, evening after evening, day after day. I used to day dream during the day, of a love story I was in.

    You wrote that you tried internet dating. Did it involve you posting a Profile on the dating website? If so, what did you write in your profile? Maybe you can try internet dating again, with a more effective Profile and strategy…?

    anita

    #123525
    BenzRabbit
    Participant

    Hi lostsoul86,

    I feel your pain….and it sucks that you had to go through bullying and loss of eyesight in your younger days!

    The effects of bullying sometimes show up in adulthood and can be very painful memories!!

    Also, depression can be passed down through our parents….so, be very careful and make sure it does not take hold on you!!!

    Sometimes life tests us and it becomes very difficult just waiting for love….but please don’t lose hope. When the time is right, the right person will show up in your life.

    Read the story of ‘Stephen Hawking’ the English physicist…he was severely disabled early in life and yet found love!

    I pray your angels guide you to your soulmate soon.

    God bless!

    #123537
    Adam P
    Participant

    Hi there healedsoul86,
    First off I would like to offer my congratulations on surviving all of that trauma during your childhood. It’s good to see that you have a good relationship with them. Second of all would be whenever you see “happy” couples to take it with a grain of salt, especially on social media. It does not matter whether it is in real life or on the internet, people make sure to present their “best face” when it comes to what they have in their lives. One suggestion I have for you and it worked wonders for me was doing a Facebook “cleanse” where you still keep your profile, but stay offline from it. You contact your close friends by phone or text. Also you stay strong when Facebook starts spamming your email telling you what you are missing or how it misses you. After some time has passed, you will not miss it and you may log back in and just roll your eyes at everything you see or you may just start a new chapter in your life and unplug from social media entirely. The choice is yours. All the best.
    Thank you and take care,
    -AP85

    #123548
    Leigh
    Participant

    Cheers I feel like the deppression has took over already all I think about from the minute I wake up is why women don’t like me know when seems to under stand probarly because I can’t explain or show anyone how bad I feel and what goes thru my mind I actually feel cursed and how can I tell my family or friends this seems like everyone goes thru life meeting people having relationships and it’s the only thing I really want and to most it is not hard to find but to me it’s like a dream that don’t feel will ever come true.just can’t get a grasp on how life is fair and it is bringing up a jelous horible side that I don’t show but wish I didint have this resentment for people that have love all I do is try and sort my head out every day but never get any answers .

    #123550
    anita
    Participant

    Dear lostsoul86:

    Lost souls think everyone else has a good life, loving relationships. When you are a …found soul, you realize that everyone else is a lost soul.

    When you see people smiling, you think they are always smiling- not so. A moment of smiling is not the same as a life of happiness. When you see an affectionate couple, it is not the same as a happily-ever-after love story. What seems is not what is.

    Your last four words above are “never get any answers”-

    What are your questions?

    anita

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