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I don't wanna live anymore

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This topic contains 13 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  veer 9 months, 2 weeks ago.

Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)
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  • #123666

    Veronica
    Participant

    I feel empty.

    And intensely sad. And I don’t know why. I’m always tired.

    I always caught myself having thoughts of ending my life.

    I keep on reading positive and affirming articles yet it seems to be useless. Well, it might make me feel better only for a few minutes then back to my melancholic thoughts.

    I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel numb and broken.

    #123674

    Adam P
    Participant

    Hi there Veronica,
    Aside from the regular advice of going to get help and seeking it from a professional therapist or psychiatric doctor, I would care to ask you what has made you want to think about ending your life and the reasons behind them. Whenever we experience negative thoughts or have fears surrounding a concern, most of the time we give just plain and dry responses. Regarding your situation your response to why you feel depressed is due to the fact that you are feeling empty. What in your past has caused you to feel empty and emotionally drained?
    With positive affirmations, the key here is to incorporate them into a daily habit. What I mean by this is that everyone not just yourself benefits greatly from reading positive affirmations or goals each morning and every night. It is especially essential in the morning because what we read and see seeps down deep into our subconscious mind and carries on during the rest of the day and in our future.
    Thank You and Take Care
    -AP85

    #123684

    Veronica
    Participant

    Thank you adam 🙂 . Well, I’ve been through a lot these past few months. I lost my job, my mom got sick, and my boyfriend cheated on me. But I already forgive my ex boyfriend, realized all my faults and learned the lesson; My mother is now stable and her health is improving. I still don’t have a job and have no motivation to seek one. I completely understand that I have to go through this.

    However, I sometimes feel empty and lost. I will follow your advice adam. Maybe affirmation is what I lack. I want to end this agony so that I could begin the new year right. Thank you so much adam.

    #123687

    anita
    Participant

    Dear veronica111:

    Can you remember when this feeling of “empty and lost” started? Was your life as a child empty?

    anita

    #123690

    Veronica
    Participant

    Hi anita. A few years back then, I was active in my spiritual path. I meditated every day. Suddenly, i lost all my motivation. i have no urge even if I wanted to. I can’t remember when it all started. It keeps going on until so many drastic changes came to me.. It is getting worst. I wanted to align myself again but i don’t know, i just don’t feel like it. Do you think this has to do with my childhood? I can’t remember anything.

    #123692

    anita
    Participant

    Dear veronic111:

    I think there is a good chance that your present experience has something to do with your childhood, especially if you can’t remember much of it.

    What do you remember and what is your past and present relationships with your parents like?

    anita

    #123742

    Veronica
    Participant

    As I look back, I remember one incidence on which I have no emotions – I did not cry nor get mad. I was completely numb. It was when my parents had a fight. My father hit my mom. I saw many blood on the floor as I approach my unconscious mom. Well, that was a long time ago. My parents are good now.

    my relationship with them right now is not good. I don’t interact with them unlike before I moved out last two years ago. I hate them both but I am trying to be understanding to their situation. Their are my parents anyway. Now, I am staying back in their place.

    #123754

    anita
    Participant

    Dear veronica111:

    It is very scary for a little girl, very, very scary to see her mother unconscious and bloody. It is scary for a child to see or hear her parents fighting, especially after seeing her mother unconscious. As a child, you no longer feel safe. Danger is always to happen next. I think you feel numb often because it is overwhelming to be afraid for so long, so the brain numbs itself. It is also tiring to be scared for so long.

    The title of your thread: “I don’t wanna live anymore”- understandably, you don’t want this kind of life.

    Clearly, best for you to attend competent psychotherapy so to look into and start the slow process of healing from your childhood injury/ trauma.

    anita

    #123755

    Veronica
    Participant

    It all makes sense now. As I look back, every time something bad happened, I just get numb. Thank you anita. Thank you so much.

    #123757

    anita
    Participant

    Dear veronica111:

    You are welcome. Please do post again, here. Tell more of your story, your childhood, your life. Anything you want to share. I want to know more and will reply any time that you post.

    anita

    #123978

    Veronica
    Participant

    I’ve been quite good lately. I guess all of your advices help me a lot. I did what adam said.. Affirmation. I just simply say ” i feel better now” cause if it’s to extreme like “feeling wonderful” – that would stress me out cause Im not. I think simple words will do. I also followed what anita said, i recalled my childhood memory. I reflected on it and still working it out. I also encountered the term “neuroplasticity” which I think can help me deal this issues slowly.

    Im just glad you guys replied to my post. Thank you.

    #123993

    anita
    Participant

    Dear veronica111:

    You are welcome. I like you using the word “better” instead of “wonderful”- the first is realistic (when you are feeling better), the second wishful thinking (when you are not feeling wonderful). Being true to reality is the principle behind my own healing. Wishful thinking, the tricking of the mind into thinking this way or that way, is unhelpful for healing.

    Neuroplasticity is what makes healing possible- it is the gradual slow re-wiring of the brain, loosening/ weakening old connections between nerve cells in the brain, and forming/ strengthening new connections.

    Post anytime.

    anita

    • This reply was modified 9 months, 3 weeks ago by  anita.
    #124010

    JOHN
    Participant

    What sort of food do you eat? I know that when I eat crap like chocolate it makes it difficult for me to get up and do the things I want. Also something that helps me get through hard times is saying “in 5 years time I will have this figured out as long as I keep looking” it takes a lot of the pressure away, hope this helps & good luck <3

    #124154

    veer
    Participant

    Hi Veronica,

    I am truly happy that you are thinking in the right direction. You mentioned that you used to meditate. Your mind drags you one direction and you try to bring it back to normal. Life is the same. Job is least of the things you have to worry about. You will get a life of information over internet. Always see the part of life that we were lucky to have and try to fill in the rest of the puzzle. Keep us posted.

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