Dear Jay-me:

My advice is that you tell him, in a patient and mature tone of voice, that you think he is not putting in the effort. Express to him your concerns in a non-clingy way. What you are afraid of: to sound impatient, immature and clingy- well don’t sound like these things but express everything you need to express, take care of your interests (and your child’s interests) in the context of the relationship. Don’t make yourself invisible, as if you don’t matter.

The age difference itself does not seem like a problem to me. The problem is that he is so busy and unavailable and the other problem is that you’ve been afraid or uncomfortable to express your honest thoughts and feelings with him. Let him know who you are, what you need and want, and find out if you can be YOU and get your needs met with him, or not. You decide.

anita