Dear shouldibearebel:

As to your user name: should I be a rebel? Since you wrote that “So far being a peacemaker has only brought heart ache and grief upon me”- then yes, you should be a rebel.

You wrote: “I… put myself down to let them satisfy their ego….I have been tolerating this as I didn’t want to be a Rebel and become a drama queen”- putting yourself down so to satisfy your bullies is the worst thing you can do if you want to stop being bullied. Putting yourself down is becoming your own bully and in so doing, you join them against yourself.

Being assertive is not the same as being a “drama queen”- and in a situation when a few people gather for the purpose of harming you (aka bullying you), your assertion is necessary so to establish peace. Volunteering to be the Loser so they stop beating you up, so to speak, may get you a cease fire, but to keep it you have to stay down, tolerate abuse, tolerate your child being abused, to lose and lose.

To confront them: Approach each one individually. Tell each one what about her behavior is abusive, be specific. If in person, look her in the eyes, have your voice be strong but calm, tell her you need her to stop this specific behavior. Tell her that her (be specific) behavior against your child will not be tolerated.

If you choose to do that, please post here again with how it went and we can communication further, if you’d like.

anita