Dear anita
Thanks. This makes a lot of sense to me.
Especially when i re read it again, it gives me new light.
Remember i talked about quitting and wanting to travel?
I talked to my boss and eventually i was given two months leave, its kind of sudden but late dec to late feb is the time frame where i can leave.
So i will be leaving home for two months.
But i had a sudden feeling of insecurity popping up, as soon as i booked the flight, reading your post, i think it might be this insecurity that made me cling onto her. The need for acceptance, the fear of being alone and detaching from the world, forgotten or abandoned.
I remembered i had this feeling before, when i was climbing up the mountains in nepal, i had high altitudd sickness and i felt like i would die, and i so wanted to cling on to my then partner, who was no around.
But eventually i reached the high pass,and it became one of the most valuable experience in my life.
Its scary to put myself out there alone, and my “scared of insecurity ” self is dragging me and nagging me, although this is something that i have been thinking of for a long time, go out and explore the world.
Quite nervous now. Wish me luck!
Chau