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Indecision over study

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  • January 4, 2017 at 8:31 am #124489
    Rosie
    Participant

    Hi guys,

    I know this is study-related but my degree will lead to a specific job so hopefully this is the right forum.

    I don’t really know what I’m asking to be honest but thought I’d just write it out anyway.

    I’m in my second year of my degree and I’m in a constant state of indecision about it. It’s like, I want the degree and the job, but I have absolutely no inclination to do extra reading or study and attending uni feels like it’s basically something to pass my time(!) I almost feel trapped in it, I could easily leave, it doesn’t have to be the be all and end all, but I’m terrified of getting a menial job and what the hell else would I do anyway? And I don’t want to let anyone down. So, you’d think this fear would spur me on to do well but it just doesn’t. My degree is in a healthcare profession so I can’t be halfhearted about it, but that’s exactly how I am at the moment.

    I had a rubbish first year (along with the rest of the class) due to the institution’s poor organisation and lost a fair bit of motivation. It’s not too bad now but I’d always rather be doing something else! I don’t arrive at class enthusiastic, ever. I’m just going through the motions.

    It has come to the point where I do think, what IS the point of me doing it if I’m not putting the effort in? I feel like I just don’t care about it, but I obviously do, because I wouldn’t be working myself up into such a state otherwise! It feels like fear is crippling me!

    I just don’t know what to do for the best 🙁

    Any advice would be so appreciated!

    January 4, 2017 at 10:03 am #124509
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear hsrm00:

    You wrote that you don’t want to let anyone down. Maybe there is something there to look into regarding your lack of motivation in your studies. So I will ask: who don’t you want to let down and what are those people’s expectations of you?

    anita

    January 4, 2017 at 11:02 am #124515
    Rosie
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Thank you for your response. It is mainly my Dad. He suggested this course of study and after further looking into it I decided to do it.

    My Dad is actually very poorly with stage IV cancer and I feel in a way I am making him proud by doing this. Although I do feel that I would never do something solely to please someone else, I am indeed letting it have a bearing on my (in)decision making process. I do know my Dad would want me to be happy and he wouldn’t want me to do this if it wasn’t what I wanted. He slaved away his whole life for us and he just wants us to be financially secure I guess.

    I also know that the rest of my family may be a little disappointed but as I said, it’s mainly my Dad.

    I think the crippling fear of the unknown is worse though. Sigh!

    January 4, 2017 at 11:34 am #124518
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear hsrm00:

    You wrote that your father “slaved away his whole life” so that you can be financially secure. Are these his words: “slaved away his whole life”?

    anita

    January 5, 2017 at 1:23 am #124598
    plaxs
    Participant

    Hsrm00
    It might help if you do something you really love as a hobby to start with, go to the classes after this course. That might change your motivation levels. Sometimes our passion might not secure our future. Dad is good to think of your future. If you really feel you are not doing justice and instead be doing something else – take a step and go ahead with it.

    I suggest you read about Bach Flowers on internet – Scelranthus – chanting this flower name will help you get over indecision. Other flowers are there which will help you take right decisions. Search in google and you will learn a lot about these flowers. They are really helpful.

    One other suggestion, take a paper and pen, put down pros and cons of both what this course offers and what you really want to do offers.

    Hope it helps.
    Lajo

    January 5, 2017 at 7:21 am #124609
    Rosie
    Participant

    Hi,

    Anita – those weren’t his exact words but I can say for certain he’s worked hard all his life to provide us with a roof over our heads.

    Lajo, thank you for your input. I will look up the Bach remedies. I do need a fun hobby, I am just not having fun in life right now.

    Thank you both,

    X

    January 5, 2017 at 7:40 am #124611
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear hsrm00:

    Your father, now very ill, worked hard to provide you with a roof over his head. Maybe you can talk with him about how you feel, if not for a solution, then for comfort. Maybe he learned important lessons from his experience of life so far, lessons that can help you. Closeness with him may be the thing that will help you and him at this time. Let him know you’ve been motivated to make him proud, that you love him AND that these (as you posted above) are your feelings. Ask for his input…?

    anita

    January 5, 2017 at 7:45 am #124612
    Rosie
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    I had been avoiding talking to him about it because I know that he’d urge me to carry on with it, as in the past he has said ‘you’ve got to stick this out, you don’t want to end up like me.’ I have an opportunity tomorrow to chat to him, maybe then would be the perfect time. Thank you for your advice, it is much appreciated.

    January 5, 2017 at 7:52 am #124613
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You are welcome, hsrm00. Hope such a chat will be helpful to the both of you.
    anita

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