Dear Cali Chica:

This is amazing- I thought about you (and your sister) only last night, was wondering what is going on.

You wrote: “…if she doesn’t even know what she is doing – how do we process that?”

I just read my last post to you, above, and I addressed this. I am trying to understand your struggle here… you already did your best trying to explain to her and failed. You and your sister are intelligent enough, so I am sure you did a good job explaining to her and the failure to understand is all hers.

Are you struggling with the ethics of this, that is, if she has no insight, is she guilty? If this is your struggle, then it is a theoretical struggle. Guilt or innocence of the kind you are wondering about, is not yours to determine. It is too vague. If there was a heaven or hell; a nirvana or rebirth, then it would be up to that imagined entity to decide on such an ethical question.

For the purpose of living on this Earth, this life, such a question is not relevant, neither are you (or me) equipped to answer it. For the purpose of this life, this reality, she is guilty and she should be stopped.

You, your sister; your husband (to be, I understand) do not deserve to suffer this unnecessary suffering. You will have your share of … necessary suffering- remove what is not necessary.

Again, for the purpose of this living, when a person harms another, the harm is done regardless of the insight of the one doing the harming. You did all you can to bring insight to the one doing the harming. It didn’t work. You can’t make her stop harming you. So what do you do? Let her continue to harm you?

If you do let her continue to harm you and others, then you are joining the insanity of it all, aren’t you?

anita