Hi anita,

I can fully agree about the child part. This probably explains why I choose to defer on a task and when I get away with it, I feel a sense of relief – and how I feel frustrated when I cannot get away with it, now that I’m in the working world – and how I get frustrated when I prefer things to be done in a certain way but I may not get what I want – and how instead of confronting the issue or planning my life, i am contented to take a more passive approach and hope that people around me will plan for me, which may frustrate them and lead to feelings of guilt for not pulling my weight – how I can be so stubborn with my own thinking etc.

How should I go about doing this? Is there one small step whereby I could take? I try to think about the big picture, what i would like to do with my life at work or personal but my mind draws a blank. Today, as I am at work, I’m telling myself that I ought to put in my share of effort since the company is giving me a basic pay but the child part is telling me not to be too committed to the job since the pay is not very high – then some other voice is encouraging me to carry on since a low pay is better than no pay.

I think what’s challenging for me is that i’m being torn between the child, the inner critic and also my responsible self all the time.

regards,
daniel