Hi Anita,

Thank you for the great advice. On two fronts: Things are going really well with the woman I dated. We spent the whole day yesterday and spent the nightat her house and had a blast. Since I have little money to spend on her, I have been fixing up her place, painting her fireplace and fixing it, replacing batteries in her smoke detectors, etc. It’s my way of showing that I care and it makes me feel like a man.
She told me she likes me, and I like her. I showed her a couple of pictures of some ribs I made at my house this Saturday and she asked me if I brought them to my mothers party. I told I did. She really wants to come to my house and I told her I would love her to, so she’s coming over Saturday. I feel like I’m lying to her or omitting information which can be construed that I’ve been lying to her. I think it’s time to tell her but I’m very worried that she will leave or not trust me in the future because I didn’t tell her up front. She is a very good person and I would hate to lose her but I feel it’s time. We have spent a lot of time together and have really bonded with her. I’m not sure how deep I should go with her. I don’t think I need to tell her about my CPTSD, but that I have had a bad relationship with my mother and it’s getting worked through now. I also think that I should tell her that in order for me to get this business going, I had to move into my mothers guest house.

The more I write this though, the more I believe I should tell her. I will own it. Thoughts?…:)
I’m seeing her tonight.

I also got a phone call yesterday while i was at her house from a woman I went on a date with (which didn’t work out). She wants me to work on her place tomorrow and I’m charging her a small fee (250.00). The woman I’m seeing got little upset that I didn’t negotiate harder, and she did mention that I went on a date with her and that didn’t make her feel well. I think this might be her issue and I explained that i really want the money.
It’s business and nothing more. This woman who I’m working with tomorrow can refer me to clients in the future.

In regards to work, I had a male client last week (by referral) and he totally loved what we worked on together on. That made me feel pretty good. And now i have a client out of nowhere that wants to work with me, I feel pretty good about that as well. I don’t know how it’s coming to me, but it is. It’s not enough or stable yet for me to move yet, but it’s a start.

Now, my mother…She had her birthday party here this weekend. It went off well and I stayed in my back house and smoked ribs and didn’t get near her. She is being very nice to me but it’s not working. I believe that I have finally seen the light, and as hard as it is to see it, I feel it’s right. It does hurt me, but I know it’s the right thing to do. I really feel disconnected from her which is good.

And as far as my anger goes, I’m still angry, but this weekend away took me out of it for a while. I’m not sure what to do with anger, so I’m just staying away from my mother now.

Thank you again for all your support Anita!!