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I am miserable and tired.

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Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • January 28, 2017 at 11:26 pm #126313
    Paige Sprayberry
    Participant

    So, We’ve been friends for 4 years but I interested him right from the start but I know it won’t happen so I let it pass by. And recently he showed me some kind of mixed signals and I don’t know. I thought he like me. We flirted these days too. But there’s also this one girl that we’ve been teasing w him. we went to a restaurant yesterday and all 5 people 2 gurls including me and that one girl. She is girly and she’s a player. I don’t know nothing about relationships and single for 21 years. she and him would talk and walk side to side I can’t bear to watch it. I can’t also pretend. He acts like he cared about me and is this because of we are friends? He would ask me do I love you him, and would call me ummm my baby. I really don’t know anymore and this morning he told me I’m not girly and feminine. He like feminine girls. I shouldn’t mad at someone because I’m too boyish. He said it doesn’t suit me. Being mad at someone is. I mean I am also a human there are at times when I am frustrated and angry. He call me I am too boyish and a dude. I feel hurt honestly. But he showed me all those signals and….

    January 29, 2017 at 9:00 am #126326
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear paige-hxh:

    It is okay to be boyish. Some guys will like it; some will not. But it is not okay for him to negatively criticize you for being boyish, to express his disapproval to you. If it bothers him so much, he shouldn’t be friends with you. Point is: it is not okay for him to criticize you for this.

    Instead of being confused by signals, have a direct conversation with him: ask him questions and expect honest, simple-to-understand answers. Get the information you need regarding his feelings and intentions regarding you and regarding the other girl.

    anita

    February 3, 2017 at 1:31 am #126630
    Paige Sprayberry
    Participant

    I want to ask him, too. But I’m afraid the friendship would over. He is my best friend and we are so close. I’m afraid other friends would notice too and this kinda stresses me out. Even if he doesn’t like me, I want things to be just like the way it was. But he kinda changed. He won’t even come and talk to me. We haven’t talked for 3 days. I’ve started conversations in the past days but I can’t continue doing this afraid he might find out.

    February 3, 2017 at 9:35 am #126652
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Paige Sprayberry:

    If this guy is your “best friend”- then I hope in the future, you have a way better friend. If you do, then you will know that this one is not a good friend. He is only the best you have, but you can have a better friend than him.

    In other words, a friend who criticizes you, telling you, repeatedly, in a disapproving way, that you are “a dude”, is not a good friend. A friend who gives you signals but will not tell you honestly and directly what he feels and intends to do, is not a good friend, or a close friend.

    If he was a good, close friend, he wouldn’t just disappear for three days and you wouldn’t be “miserable and tired” in the relationship with him.

    anita

    February 3, 2017 at 7:53 pm #126680
    Paige Sprayberry
    Participant

    Thank you dear Anita.
    This is what I needed. We talked yesterday and he said he got a crush. And I support him. Told him to go get her and talk to her. Actually, I thought best friends can insult each other but never once I insulted him in a bad day. Not in physical appearance not even personality cuz I know how much it hurts even when I did say something that I didn’t intend to I apologize him right away. But yesterday he called me flat chest again in the past he woul call me fat,too. I thought it was just because we are close but personally I don’t like it. When I told him, he would say I get upset so easily which isn’t suit with me. I guess I should stay like this till I finally explode and tell him things. They are gonna think I’m dramatic and all. Cuz I’m the funniest one in our group and I guess they think I won’t mad to tease by a lot by them. This is hard and thank you dear. I really appreciate your kindness. Much love ❤

    February 4, 2017 at 7:21 am #126695
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Paige Sprayberry:

    You are welcome. I think the insults I knew about were bad enough, and now I read of more insults by the same “best friend”- all those insults, those “teasing” are wrong. They are wrong, because understandably, they hurt your feelings.

    A true friend does NOT hurt a friend’s feelings.

    If you told him that his “teasing” are hurting you (and this is why you don’t tease him, because you know it hurts), and he keeps teasing you, then he is definitely not a true friend.

    You should not pay this price (being insulted/ teased/ disrespected), so to be in company, to not be alone.

    Tell him very clearly to no longer call you these things, and write back his response, will you?

    anita

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