Dear Prasanth,

I have read through the entire post. Some thoughts come to my mind :-

You are very dependant on others and the occurance of certain situations to validate your quality as a person.

You don’t see or understand yourself. Accepting who you are is even farther from it.

You are not taking responsibility for your role in the circumstances too. The people who went overseas took courses that you were not interested in. Your real interest was money. The purpose of this money is to have less difficulties and more peace of mind, right?

But what if you are also responsible for ruining your own peace of mind? With your habit of comparing to others, do you think you would have been happy even if say you became rich, went overseas and found a girl? The emptiness would still be there – you would think that you should have studied literature instead! What will you do with so much money! The comparision habit won’t stop.

99.99% of population has experienced what you havent – a very generalised statement again. A huge section of this world is living in utter poverty, persecution, in far worse state. The fact that you have the freedom to annonymously post your concerns here mean you have had some education, an access to internet – things we take for granted but many don’t even have those. Open the world bank figures and you will see what I mean.

Now let’s consider the sports thing – what bothered you then was having less talented people get appreciation while you don’t get it.

Again as you can see, your focus is extremely outside. Did you participate for your own enjoyment or simply to get praise?

You don’t feel good about yourself and that’s why you need others to praise you, you constantly look at others life to think how much is missing in your life.

But do you see that even you are responsible for how well you manage your own thoughts and emotions?

Love is something that isn’t happening. Your criteria is not being satisfied and you again start the compare game.

Stop comparing your life with others. Stop thinking so much about the past.

Please start finding out who you really are, what you actually want and how can you have a good relationship with yourself first. Your focus is way too much on outside.

Regards
Nina