Dear Debbie:

I want to explain to you my motivation in engaging with you on this thread, personally: I would like it very much if you and him will get back together and make each other happy. That will be delightful for me. This is my motivation in bringing up the points I am bringing.

My understanding of your situation keeps developing as we continue to communicate because you bring to me more and more information.

As to your question, is it too late: it may be too late. Definitely the marriage is not likely at all to proceed as planned, the cancellations already happened.

If there is a chance for a Win-Win relationship between you and him, the old foundation of it needs to be replaced with a new foundation.

The old foundation: the relationship is about making Debbie happy; it is about making Debbie’s dreams come true. Debbie was injured in past relationships, so it is his (your ex fiancé’s) job to make it up to you for past injuries and resulting insecurity; to always be there for you. This relationship is about Debbie.

The new foundation: this relationship is about making Debbie and ex fiancé happy. Both. Debbie was injured in the past but so has the man. This is a meeting of two people who need each other’s support. It is his job to help you and comfort you – NO LESS than it is your job to help him and comfort him. This relationship is about him just as much as it is about you.

Do you agree with the new vs. the old foundation- ?

anita