Dear, Adele..

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Dee Dee, I have never been in your position but I used to be the bastard your bf was. I was a meth addict for years.I was very smart which makes me very manipulative. And though I was never been abusive (verbally or physically), or cheat, I did put my ex gf in hard times for the last 1,5 year of our relationship. I think it could be enlighten you to see from another point of view in this case.

First of all, as someone who have been clean for years and then relapsed and clean again, I want to ask you.. do you really know who’s your bf? By knowing who he is, I mean the person behind all that manipulative acts, behind the images he might’ve created in front of you. It is very important for you to remember clearly how he behaved when he is clean for some period. This is the person he really is. Because whoever he has become when he is under influence or briefly clean (less than one or two months) is clearly not the real person he is. If u can remember who he is behind all the mess he created, think, does that person worth all this shit? Does that real person inside him worth your love and your efforts?

Second, if that person is indeed worth it, then please help him. What you must understand, addiction is a disease. It’s not just a bad habit one can quit in an instance. Think of it thas a low blood sugar illness, where one must continue consume sugar or he’s body will collapse. So in order to keep his mind and body function, he will do anything like lying or stealing. In this case, the sugar is meth which is quite expensive. If you really love him, encourage him to find the help he needs. Be there with him. Find the cause why he keeps using again, is it the neighborhood, his friends, works (I used to use because my job in film industry knows no working hour so I need meth to boost my stamina all the time). Remind him the person he was before all of this happened. Because as an addict, after all the disappointment we caused to the ppl we loved, at some point we started to believe that we’re nothing more than a pathetic loser.

The third one, if you’re not so sure which one is the real him and which one is the addict, then I’m sorry to say that you might have fall in love with the images he’s trying to make. Keep your distance, but try to keep him under the loop, befriend with him, help him only if you could but do nothing more than what a friend would do. With this attitude, you can justify the blame he accused you. Try to explain to him that you would still be around, as a friend but nothing more. Try to get new activities that keep your thoughts away from him. At least that’s what my ex gf does and it looks like it’s working.

I hope this help you in anyway that’s possible.

Dee.