Dear iwbi95:

When “anxiety was running (your) mouth that morning” and you “said things (you) didn’t necessarily mean to say”- that was you abusing him. Later on he abused you, correct? Often, in relationships, one party is not The Abuser while the other is The Victim, it goes back and forth, abuse begets abuse. Sometimes, one is The Abuser and the other is, indeed, The Victim. The only way for you to figure out which one it is, is to not abuse. No matter how you feel, how anxious, don’t run your mouth. Don’t say things you don’t “necessarily mean to say.”

Be responsible for your participation in the relationship with him and evaluate his participation- both parties need to be respectful.

anita