Dear Ian:

What is important is not how much therapy you had, how much knowledge you have, what is most important is that you feel safe now of the dangers you experienced as a child and during the breakup of your first marriage. The danger then was being left alone, uncared for and unprotected by your mother (as a child) and later, by your first wife.

Now you are safe from those dangers because as an adult, you can feed and protect yourself. You can live without your mother (as you have) and you can live without your ex wife (as you have). From those dangers, you are safe.

anita