Dear Peony:

You are welcome and thank you for your expressed appreciation- means a lot to me.

What means most to me is that I may had a part in you and your husband having a better day. Opening up communication between you and your husband does require the two of you feeling safe with each other. He needs to feel safe; he needs that “safe platform” you mentioned. Notice when you feel angry at him and don’t automatically or impulsively react to the feeling with behavior and words. Often we get angry when there is no real offense against us, we just don’t like what we just heard, it triggers us because of our past experience. Build tolerance to your own distress.

It takes time to build that safe platform. He has to trust you, over time, that he will not be attacked for expressing his honest thoughts and feelings, that it is safe to do so.

Post again, anytime, if something comes up, an example of communication or miscommunication that happens, something you need help with- maybe I can help.

anita