Just to cool things off, I told her I needed a break, as I have plenty of stuff to handle with mom’s sickness, financial instability, so on. She says that if I was seeing her as a friend, then real friends don’t take breaks or quit on each other during difficult times, but support each other. But due to my anxiety and stress and my constant work pressure and running about from one job to another, I hardly have time to message and I often forget what I am messaging and saying. Sometimes my work pressures put me in a sad or angry mood. If somebody approaches me at this time, I yell at them impulsively. In real life, most people can visually see that I’m stressed and therefore they refrain from asking me something when I’m down. But since she is only messaging on whatsapp, she can’t see my suffering or mood swings. If I tell her I’m in a bad mood or angry over some work issues, she says that I’m just finding excuses to ignore her. And she starts again with the “You used me and threw me” routine. This increases my blood pressure, guilt and anxiety. Then though I control myself immensely, I sometimes message something roughly (no bad words). She gets offended by this and she feels sad, which increases my anxiety even further. By talking to her, my anxiety does increase because of my guilt and my efforts to not say anything to hurt her. After such a difficult conversation with her, it takes me hours to cool down and most days I end up with a head ache or a racing heart. The next day if I apologize, she again says I treat her badly and like filth. She doesn’t allow me a break but also complains as to how i react due to my external pressures. I also sometimes go to facebook or some social site to spend a minute or two, when I wake up suddenly or when I’m really low, to distract myself. She notices that I’m online on these sites and says “You have time for all those, but you don’t have time for me? You are just trying to avoid or ignore me.” But I hardly spend a few minutes on social websites and I have the liberty to abruptly close those tabs when I want. But could I shut down a conversation or bail out abruptly? That would offend her as well. So just because I wake up for a moment in the middle of the night, could I message her and then abruptly sleep? Or perhaps take a moment from my work when I’m too stressed to browse the internet to relax myself. Could I just start a conversation with her in the middle of work and abruptly end it when I’m back in the mood for work? She won’t understand this and keeps saying I ignore her. I’m afraid to make posts on social websites. I’m afraid to go online. I feel so restricted and constrained.