Dear Fenrir:

You are welcome. How can you change your mental habits, particularly your habit of looking for signs of danger, for reasons to not be happy, correct?

If so, if anxiety is fueling the mental habit of obsessing, looking for signs of danger, being on the alert instead of relaxing into the warmth and love of this relationship, then effective calming techniques will be helpful, such as daily aerobic exercise, mindful exercise such as slow yoga, mindful practice otherwise and more.

In addition to calming yourself daily, there may be ways customized to you, that is, depending on the origin of your particular anxiety. If you would like, share about this origin: did you feel unsafe as a child (not necessarily physically unsafe as in being homeless but emotionally)?

anita