Hello, Inky! Thank you for actually listing every one of them down.

If I were still 2-3 months into this relationship, I would have a come back for everything you had pointed out, simply because I didn’t believe any single bad thing about him back then, indicating I was deluded and tricked into believing he’s a deity~

You are right. He’s a very insecure man. He tends to react badly to people who disagree the slightest with him, making him appear strict in front of others and that is also the cause why he has very little amount of friends. These little amount of friends he has, he most probably earned through doing the very same tactic that he’s done to me to make me his friend.

“I bet he was telling you about all those GFs to make him seem like everyone wants him. Half of them are probably exaggerated.” Can’t be any truer.
I kept going back and forth on this thought alone, because everytime I showed the slight discomfort in him, he would pull me back with his convincing words. As I’ve posted, he was an intelligent man that knows his words and acts. He was well aware of what women likes and not, in turn actually making him a good flirt. But I often find him texting me randomly, when he was out somewhere by his own or to pick his wife from work, saying “a girl is looking directly at me atm and it’s been 10 minutes now. Every time I looked back at her, she turned away.” Despite me being skeptical about his way of perceiving, 80% of the time I would have to react the way he expected me to otherwise he flips out, and that is to say along the lines of “ooh, everyone’s all over you. They don’t know how lucky the girls who get to be close to him are,” (I, now, despise those demented forced words very deeply).

The rest of the numbers I believe hold true statements. Number 6 where you stated “he has me competing with the super model girl and her competing with me” is also what I’ve been guessing for a long time. It is as if he had made a realm where every girl is out, and needs, to compete for him. As far as I’m concerned, he would go as far as making “hall of fame” and “hall of shame”. What I think is the worst part of it all: him and that supermodel girl thought there’s nothing wrong with it.

In contrary, I was seen wrong by not “abiding the rules”. I have been somewhat bullied into my position. I foolishly thought they were right because I thought I was so young compared to them that I wouldn’t know half a thing they do. I was insecure and had no faith in myself at the moment, it felt as though I couldn’t live without him, being the way he is: convincing, loving and giving. Which, obviously, is just insane given what I know of him over time.

Thank you again for listing your thoughts, I find them to be very revealing!
I will take some time and really contemplate your suggestion deeply before ultimately making (and/or not making) an act.

And it IS the season of Lent! You don’t know how reading your words have lifted me up so much.
I will definitely use the time to repent and better myself.

Once again, thanks so much Inky!