Thank you anita, that was very insightful. I actually never made the connection that every day is a struggle BECAUSE I have this thought that I’m not good enough. I just assumed I found life in general to be really boring and mundane and felt like I was dragging myself through it.

I’ve tried examining this belief before. I think it stemmed from childhood. I remember coming home one day in 2nd grade and I got just a 97 on a test and my father was upset that I didn’t get 100. I remember when I was around 14 or 15 i tried losing weight and succeeded, only to have a family member tell me that no matter how much weight I lost I would never be as pretty as my classmate. I think somewhere along the way I internalized these beliefs and I even though I know better now it’s so difficult for me to shake. I don’t know why I can’t shake that feeling that I really am not good enough.