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Anita, that is profound and probably spot on! Thank you! I have had almost a year of nothing happening, like the year before. I think part of my issue is I am constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop and that’s not good. What you’ve written is really true. Before all of this I was healthy. I was in a job that I was comfortable in and did really well in my role. I was confident in my parenting. Once that job was taken from me and I wound up in a horrible job, that really effected me. I felt worthless there. I would go in with a smile on my face and give 100% percent only to be constantly brow beaten. I would come home in tears and think, if I can’t do this job right, how can I parent,or be a wife, or a family member or even a friend? It really did damage. I always referred to my boss as an abusive ex boyfriend. that’s how she felt. Like she’d be friendly and then in the middle of a sentence turn on me. I was 38 years old, but being treated like a dumb kid. it was horrible. I honestly feel had that not happened I would have rebounded from the other stuff better. but this, this really did a number on me. I question myself daily now, even though I am in a great job and I’m doing very well. A few bumps here and there, but that’s normal.
I am really glad I stumbled upon this site. you and Jenna have given me wonderful responses and really have me sitting here going YES! that’s RIGHT!!!! So, I thank you both 🙂