Post # 2:

Dear Tannhauser:

This is my understanding of you, of your experience which you shared here starting nine months ago. I will be using my own words. Your words will be in parentheses inside quotation marks. Please let me know if I am correct in my understanding, where I am not correct, and please do correct me where I am incorrect.

You very much believe in the spiritual realm, in supernatural forces, invisible entities, powers that cannot be seen by most people. Your Kundalini Awakening experience, starting in 2013, four years and ongoing, is about an awakening to this invisible reality. Most people are asleep to this reality. You were chosen to be awakened to reality. The experience of awakening has been extremely distressing to you and full of suffering, physical suffering and a feeling of emptiness, loneliness, separation and despair.

Unlike Christianity and other monotheistic religions which issue orders, the real spiritual realm issues no orders. (“What it does do is leave subtle signs… It doesn’t interfere. It is neutral”)

You described your visions, numbers you came across, the incident when you got drunk in church, other physical experiences and considered these as potential signs. You realize some may be coincidences. Some of the confusion you have experienced is about figuring what is coincidental and what is a valid sign.

Throughout the Awakening, you remained flexible, considering this, then re-evaluating and reconsidering (” For a while I actually thought I was Neptune reincarnated, but now I believe…”) So the Awakening has been a process.

Through this process you figured the following, with a growing certainty:

Christianity, Catholicism, the other monotheistic religions are about human agenda. These religions are not the truth, not reality. And they have been destructive to you and to the world.

Jesus of Christianity is a sanitized version of Bacchus/Dionysus, the Roman god. In other words, Jesus does not exist as a god and may never have existed as a person at all.

The reality of the spiritual realm is that of many gods, and so the ancient people of Greece and Rome (and the ancient people in other parts of the world) were closer to the truth/ reality of the spiritual world.

Although these gods are neutral, some may be devious, nice or terrible, like Kali, the Hindu goddess.

The comforting delusion that there is a good man-in-the-sky, the Christian god, is just that, a delusion from which you have awakened. There is no one to pray to, for good to come to one’s life. Some of the spiritual forces in real life have ill intent. Some of those forces are the ones that inflicted this experience on you, this suffering you have been experiencing since 2013. Without the comfort of the well intended, good man-in-the-sky; without your previous church affiliation and without your family’s support, you feel like a fish out of water, alone, rejected, terrified, hence the title of your thread: My Kundalini Horror.

In your isolation you retreated into fantasy world, as have other people going through the Kundalini experience. As a result of your Awakening, you also grew closer to nature, protective of nature.

You asked repeatedly what is the point of this (“What is the point of this isolation?” “What is all this for?”) You believe this Kundalini Awakening was imposed upon you, chosen for you, and so you don’t see yourself a hero (“I have no choice in the matter. Greatness happens out of ones choice to do something.)

You expressed admiration for people who dared to defy dogma, step outside the herd, speak their own truth, display courage when mocked by society/ the herd, called crazy and mad. (“You have to speak YOUR truth.”)

And this is what you did here, Tannhauser, in this very thread. You spoke your truth, consistently, for nine months. You did so courageously, bravely.

Let me know if I understood correctly and do correct me where I did not

anita