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My Kundalini Horror

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  • #116555
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    I have been living with Kundalini for the past three years. But last week it really scared me.

    It erupted from somewhere near the bottom of the spine and moved up towards my stomach where it must have got stuck. Intense pain ensued, and reached a level I hadn’t experienced before. The stomach seemed to bloat with wind or gas, and I thought I was about to be hospitalized. But that wasn’t all, for an energy then proceeded to attempt to make its way up my spine towards my head. Again, this caused intense pain, and I felt energies coming in through the top of my head.

    I haven’t been the same since this episode occurred a week last Sunday. I became ill with flu-like symptoms and stomach pains. These symptoms have now subsided, but I am still having bouts of nausea in my stomach, coupled with occasional pains which are usually relieved by a visit to the toilet. But by far the worse part was the fear and existential crisis I was plunged into. I was spaced out and very frightened indeed. It feels that this thing wishes to pull me away from everything that is dear and familiar to me. To be honest, I really don’t like it at all and wish I could be rid of it. I see it as a threat to my continued existence.
    I certainly didn’t want it or encourage it. I now live in fear of what it will do next, knowing that there is absolutely NOTHING I can do to stop it.

    There may be some people on this forum who may wish to dabble with this thing. I urge you VERY strongly not to. It is a very cruel force, and it will try to crack open your psyche, which can have devastating consequences. Kundalini is not loving, it doesn’t care about your feelings or if you’re about to have a mental breakdown.

    I would appreciate any help given. But please, I would rather atheists didn’t reply, because I don’t want my experiences reasoned away. I know what I am experiencing, and it is not mental illness. It may eventually result in mental illness, but that is not the root cause.

    Best wishes,
    Tannhauser.

    #116658
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Yes. It’s been a very intense week since last full moon. But fortunate /unfortunate its a part of the process.

    The good news is, you can blast through many of the initial symptoms by becoming aware of the ascension process and listening to what your body needs at this transformative time. The bad news is, if you look at them as troublesome rather than transforming, they will linger until you pay attention and do something to assist your physicality.
    This isn’t a race, you don’t have to ascend by a certain date or else. It is a conscious choice to fully engage and support the Ascension process.

    If you’ve made the choice to be aware and assist your process, some interesting – and challenging – symptoms and situations may arise.

    ☆Triple digits: every time you glance at a digital clock it has double or triple digits. 1:11, 2:22, 3:33, 4:44, 8:55 (just glanced, there it is), etc. All. day. long. This can be fun or maddening depending on your perspective. It’s just the higher levels saying hello or pay attention.
    ☆Breaking free from restrictive jobs, lifestyles, disharmonious people or situations. Some times it is conscious, sometimes your higher self will do it for you.
    ☆Desire to simplify belongings, lifestyle, habits
    ☆Heightened awareness, mystical experiences, increased synchronicity
    ☆Breaking the false membrane between the solar plexus and heart center. You’ll know when it occurs.
    ☆Feelings of tremendous joy, love and compassion: when the lower and higher chakras begin to unite
    ☆Full-on Kundalini risings: bliss-gasms become a regular occurrence
    ☆Skin eruptions: occasional unusual rashes, bumps – purification of emotion, toxins, imbalances
    ☆Beings in your peripheral vision; floating veils, shadowy figures, white objects
    ☆Seeing particles of light all the time
    ☆Seeing auras or vortexes of energy around plants, animals, people
    ☆Episodes of clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairsentience, claircognizance
    ☆White noise, ringing, electronic-type noise or tones in the ears becomes more intense, sensing messages within the sounds
    ☆Creativity bursts: receiving creative inspirations at an overwhelming rate
    ☆Impatience: You want to get on with the process faster than your body can adjust. it’s just your mind, pay attention to what is holding you back form experiencing more. ☆Sometimes the impatience itself is the block.
    ☆Teachers start to appear to assist you on your journey: people, movies, books, events, Mother Earth, Father Sun, Star family
    ☆Consuming interest in self-knowledge and creativity: expressing one’s true nature in work and play
    ☆Deeper understanding of spiritual truths
    ☆Higher perspective becomes habitual: compassion for all journeys, honoring all paths
    ☆Third eye opening, clarifying
    ☆Akashic access: understanding your past journeys here, seeing the lessons
    ☆Journeys in meditation become intense and purposeful: crystalline cities, geometry, gridwork, stargate travel
    ☆Feeling the Observer or Witness consciousness, separation from 3D constructs
    ☆Desire to serve from the heart
    Deep understanding of Mother Earth and Humanity”s journey
    ☆Desire for mastery of your consciousness

    It’s how it is. It’s beautiful , don’t block it – accept and enjoy the journe

    #116659
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Try to buy some protection shield bracelet with kaballah blessing. It may help.to keep your sh☆t together 😉

    #116742
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    Thanks for your replies.

    I can’t say this process has been ‘beautiful’ because it hasn’t. My stomach still does not feel right. But the scary thing is not the pain, it’s the changes in consciousness. These changes are frightening to me, so I try to bury them as much as possible. I try to think of them as little as possible. I am hanging on to my world because it’s all I have got, and I fear that if I let go I will have a psychotic break and end up in hospital.

    Much of what you say doesn’t seem to apply to me, and it annoys me slightly that you suggest going out buying things. I tell you, once the retail market gets wind of the reality of ‘Ascension’ some people are going to make an absolute killing out of a lot of fragile and deeply troubled souls; a rather unfortunate downside of ‘Ascension’ which our supposedly loving ‘Higher Selves’ seem quite unconcerned about. However, I have experienced some startling synchronicities and creative bursts, so perhaps there is some truth in what you say.

    But, it’s time for a rant.

    It’s fair to say that my Catholic faith has completely failed me on EVERY level in all this. It has been as useful as a chocolate fireguard, and it’s doctrines and dogmas have more in common with the rote learning of school times tables than any real spirituality. The spiritual process hasn’t alluded to one single saint or recognizable Christian figure. Instead, it has constantly alluded to the gods of ancient Rome and Norse mythology. Instead I have felt very strongly the pull of Paganism. There is a magic out there in the woods and in the seasons that I just don’t feel in church. This is why I chose the name ‘Tannhauser’; I am caught between two stools, but Paganism is slowly winning out. But not this horrible type of neo-Paganism which involves heavy drinking, loud music and treating Stonehenge like a toilet. No, I mean the simple ancient beliefs of our ancestors, who, despite what the Catholic Church would have us believe, actually lived by a strong moral code. I see an attraction in revering the sun. I can see it and feel its effects. Without it everything would perish.

    After over twenty years as essentially a keyboard musician playing piano and organ, this summer I went out and bought a gothic harp and am learning to play it. When things like that happen out of the blue, I wonder if its this ‘process’ at work.

    Best wishes,
    Tannhauser

    #117591
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    Muzzy-headed and lethargic. I have no energy. I don’t feel myself.

    This forum is a joke. Its playing at being spiritual or trying to understand such things. You’ll help people with the usual agony aunt shit of ‘I’ve broke up with my boyfriend’ ‘nobody loves me’ etc, but you don’t give a f*ck about people like me who are going through something very strange and unnatural that is not of this earth. ALONE.

    I am asking for HELP!!!! SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!! FOR F*CKS SAKE PLEASE HELP. I can’t get help from anywhere. I can’t get it from my family, or from my parish priest, or even from God. You people are supposed to be spiritually minded. Tell me why this is happening to me. I didn’t invite it, and I am getting SICK OF IT!!!!

    Some people in high places in this life know this is happening to some of us. You think your TV shows are just entertainment. And most of them are. But some aren’t. Some contain messages for us about the future. Take the sci-fi show Intruders which was televised a year or two ago for example. The opening credits showed a person’s mind being split open to reveal some sort of expanded consciousness and connections to past lives. This is what is happening to me NOW, and it’s f*cking frightening.

    I don’t normally like sci-fi but I watched the show. It was correct on two counts: 1. there is no God, and 2. we don’t die. The extra-terrestrial race that created us now wishes to change our DNA. Lucky for you if you’re not part of the experiment. I envy you. Those of us who are part of it will either have to adapt or jump off a tall building. There’s no escape.

    Tannhauser.

    #117596
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Tannhauser:

    I tried to help you in the past, on another thread you started. But we had a misunderstanding, and still do:

    I believe that your thinking is incorrect, delusional and is part of a psychotic illness. On the other hand, you believe that my thinking is incorrect. You view your issue as Spiritual and I view your issue as a mental health issue.

    I believe you need the help of a mental health professional.

    I don’t see a way for me to help you, it being that our beliefs are so different. Hope you do receive the care you need, and that your distress will lessen- a whole lot. I do wish you well being, peace of mind, calm.

    anita

    #117616
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    I expected as much from you Anita. You have recourse to the only action open to a materialist, and that is to label me insane. You think that it will all be sorted out by taking yet more drugs, or by shoving me on a psych ward. But this is not mental illness, I only wish it was. You say our beliefs are different. But you don’t have any beliefs, and on reflection neither do I anymore. I don’t believe in the Christian fairy tale shit of a benevolent loving, personal god anymore. Such a God cannot possibly exist. Such a God is dead to me. However, there are ‘extra-terrestrial’ life forms who created us, and they don’t give a flying f*ck about us. We are just cattle to them. They meddle and interfere with humans all the time, but it’s always for THEIR benefit, not ours. You had better understand that.

    I wasn’t always like this. Prior to 2013 I was a ‘normal’ average person with normal, average interests. I didn’t do yoga or any of that shit, and I wasn’t interested in spirituality beyond Sunday morning. But I went through terrible illness and trauma which have had a devastating effect on me, and that’s when this Kundalini shit began.

    I have seen far too many f*cking health professionals in my miserable life, and I am not going to start all over again with my head. I suppose its over for me, because I can’t live with it anymore. I doubt I will ever find peace again in this world.

    In closing, I have to say that this forum is a steaming pile of horseshit. You are all just playing at pretending to be enlightened. An ‘enlightened’ person would not rush to judgement and brand me a lunatic. An enlightened person might realise that something else could be going on. You are not enlightened. You branded me insane. F*ck you.

    Tannhauser.

    #117618
    anita
    Participant

    Farewell, Tannhauser. Take care of yourself best you can. If you ever choose to return to this website, an apology for your farewell wish (the F word) will be required.

    Please do take better care of yourself. Be well.
    anita

    #117637
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I thought tiny buddha is the place for a intuitive conversation. . But it’s not!

    Tannhauser I don’t want you to swear at me but it’s a dangerous gift and it will be difficult and I completely understand what you’re going through.

    YOU DON’T NEED MENTAL PSYCHOTHERAPY !!!

    Reiki healer will help much more than someone who will label you and treat for the next 10 years with Clopixol or other stuff.

    I know that awakening is individual and could be disaster when evil forces sneak in.
    I am still newbie but I could guide you to a little smoother path.

    I find myself this site much helpful than tiny buddha.

    https://www.thetreeofawakening.com/forums/forum/esp-extrasensory-perception-sixth-sense/

    Xxx

    #117640
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I am here now. I want to help you. I do not promise that I can take it all away with a blink of an eye but I can take some.of your pain on my shoulders.. I can handle it , it’s okay. I’ve got nothing to lose and if that would help only one person than I am offering exchange you can have my peace and faith and love and I would go through your horror as you call it.

    And please don’t say there is no God – read my post again and again until your faith will come back.

    I must warn you though : after the exchange you will see them everywhere but the are not a treat I wouldn’t be here offering all above if they were bad.

    Please have faith and hope. . Forever

    #117690
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    I am the archetypal Tannhauser. I am a mere minstrel caught between two worlds. The otherworld wishes to consume me, and I am trying to stop it. There is a spirit with me and it emanates love at a level I find overpowering.

    I awoke at 3 am this morning to find my body posed in a yogic posture. (I DON’T do YOGA!) I was on my back, my right leg bent at the knee with the sole of my right foot resting against my left leg. My right hand was raised above my head in some sort of kriya/mudra position, while my left hand rested on my stomach. The first word which came to my mind was ‘Shiva’. I thought of the Shiva dancing statue. Bear it in mind I am supposed to be a Roman Catholic. We aren’t supposed to entertain such things.

    I appreciate your help. Anita was of no help to me whatsover. She is supposed to be running a forum based upon enlightenment and spirituality, yet she plainly shows none of these things and is an outright materialist and atheist. I may as well go and talk to the average person on the street about my problems. She thinks it can all be cured by drugging me into a stupor.

    You say ‘please don’t say there is no God’. But how can I believe in a God that allows this to happen to me? That allows or ordains a process which cripples my faith and beliefs and stops me from praying? Surely God can’t exist or He/It has to be the biggest prankster in the Universe. Why would He/It break my faith and sow doubt and confusion? Why point to the gods of ancient Rome when the Roman church no longer worships them? Why show me all these gods and goddesses of Roman, Grecian and Norse mythology when He is a MONOTHEISTIC GOD?!!!!

    Thank you for your help, H8. I am very grateful for it.

    Best wishes,
    Tannhauser

    #117700
    Annagramma
    Participant

    Tannhauser,

    I am sorry, I cannot offer you any help. However, there are two things that I would like to say.

    1. The anger and especially the bad language you have displayed throughout your posts do you a great disservice. They are totally uncalled for and highly inappropriate in communication.

    2. Just for your information, the user “Anita” does *not* run anything. She is a regular person and forum contributor just like you and me. The fact that you see her posting a lot is simply because she chooses to dedicate a part of her time to answering posts on this forum. She is doing it voluntarily and she is trying her best. You *can* agree to disagree with her without using offensive language. Besides, none of us are trained specialists so please do not expect anyone to have the right solution (or any solution at all) to your troubles. As I’ve said, we’re all trying our best. That may occasionally not be enough.

    I realise that my message will probably upset you, but this was not my intention. I would just like you to understand that this form of communicating will not be very helpful to you.

    #117701
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    I am sorry for my offensive language. I realise I am just going to have to accept what is happening to me. It’s useless fighting against it, it just upsets me and makes me very anxious. I’ll just have to trust that this higher force knows what it is doing.

    Best wishes and apologies,
    Tannhauser

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by Tannhauser.
    #117711
    anita
    Participant

    * Dear Annagramma: thank you for your assertion. I appreciate it very much.

    Dear Tannhauser:

    Indeed I am a member here, just like you are. Not an authority figure of any kind. If your apology above is directed to me as well, then I accept it and wish you well too.

    If I may say so, I think your last post makes sense: if you can’t change it, accept it. If it is a higher force that is responsible for your physical going-ons, then maybe that higher force has a higher purpose. Causing you distress for no higher goal would be an act of nothing but sadism. I consider sadism an act of a … lower force, not a higher force.

    anita

    #117730
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    How come Love can be too much?
    You steer it as far as you want it to go ,how fast or how slow or take a break.. You’re deciding no one else. It’s your experience and there is no return at least in this life as many times you reincarnate and repeat same thing all over just so you could finish your mission – as far I understand – and it’s only my opinion not a message from higher earths. Accept it and rule it in your own best way *love all & harm none*

    I just realise while reading your post I was holding my left hand on my stomach?! lol ..and if I would be lying down my leg & arm would be as you describe it. How would you know it huh? I guess It’s a very common pose and hands could be anywhere on/near chakras, anyhow.. its a self healing. I’ve read not so much about it particularly but it seems like I’ve always knew those things and they really help.

    Maybe it’s all happening to youbecause everything fall into it’s place,especially now you should not be worried about non believers – it’s their choice of how and if they will believe and do the right thing.. This your whole ‘horror’ might be a final test your faith.. God has a very perverse sense of humour sometimes but I love it, especially Yoga part / that’s my pose end… I am pissing in my pants I am laughing so much. lol

    I said it because for all that I’ve been through Only God didn’t turn his back on me. And I remember times I said no to God , I took a break ..came back stronger. Maybe there is one God or maybe just God & Goddess ?!

    PS: My exchange offer is open. No time limit! (I’m happy to help)

    X Harm none
    Love All

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