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My Kundalini Horror

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  • #117760
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    I am glad that my situation has provided some amusement for you, truly I am.

    In my opinion, there is no God. I used to believe it but now I don’t. I find it easier not to believe than be of the opinion that God is some sort of prankster meddling with human lives.

    I do not have a ‘mission’. I was born in 1970 and have no recollection of existing prior to that. If I have no memory of existing before 1970, then it stands to reason I will not retain any form of consciousness after death. On that score, I am with the atheists. I certainly don’t worry about non-believers, I am actually coming around to their way of thinking. And here’s the strangest thing. Before all this started I was a bog standard Catholic who dearly hoped there was an afterlife. But I don’t want it now. I just want to lose consciousness and go out like a blown light bulb. Because who is to say that the afterlife isn’t just another level of learning and suffering? Or who is to say we don’t just come back here to do it all over again? If you wish to believe in God then fine, believe. But you will surely have to accept that He or It is a God of pain, suffering and decay, for that is the natural order and predisposition of the planet He supposedly created. And I know we humans always get the blame for that, because of our ‘sins’. But the animal kingdom didn’t sin against God, and yet the suffering of animals is far worse than ours.

    Best wishes,
    Tannhauser

    #117773
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Spirituality is probably the toughest experience. Its not an easy path simply because we’ll need to face what we are and it’s not what we think.
    It’s a long process and at times hard to bear. I wished to be dead too many times. I cry myself out for help and there was no one! I’ve prayed for end of this nightmare days weeks months. . Nothing pleasant and I am here now and God only knows when I will loose it once again.

    As much as I trust and believe there is always this one unmet desire that I am longing for.

    Love

    #117881
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    It’s very bad for me at the moment. I am also coping with long-standing chronic illness and I really don’t want to be here anymore. Life is too hard for me now. I hate the arrival of each new day and am only at peace when I am asleep. It’s fair to say that the possibility of me making an attempt on taking my own life is stronger than ever.

    Once again, you bring God into it. There is no God.

    Best wishes,
    Tannhauser

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by Tannhauser.
    #117926
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Life is hard but being stupid makes its more harder.

    Can you prove God nonexistence somehow so I could know where are you coming from please with this knowing.

    #118236
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    Great news!!

    Since the Kundalini/October Full Moon pushed through the blockage in my stomach/navel chakra two days ago I feel absolutely great. I have lots of energy and life seems magical and full of possibilities. This blockage must have been the cause of considerable weight gain due to the traumas I experienced over the years, because I am now able to fit into my old clothes again. Naturally, this is a considerable boost to my self-confidence and esteem.

    My comments on God were incorrect. He/She/It is EVERYWHERE. God is Pan, Odin, Zeus and Jesus. God is Freya, Isis, Kali and Mary. Agni, Mazda, Holy Ghost, Great Spirit, the list is endless. God dwells amongst the trees as well as in temples. God is very kind, but sees the bigger picture and we don’t.

    Best wishes and all happiness to you,
    Tannhauser

    #118237
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    You don’t know how happy I am right now

    #118238
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    That’s a True Miracle ❤

    #119129
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    Things are bad again and I don’t want to be here. The Kundalini moved again early this morning and caused extreme pain to my stomach. (The pain was so intense that I could not sit up and had to lie flat). It felt like something was pushing up my spine, whilst at the same time an ‘energy’ was forcing the contents of my stomach towards my bowels and anus, resulting in terrible constipation and wind.

    People say this Kundalini is ‘divine’. I don’t see it that way. I see it as a curse that seriously threatens my life. I keep wanting to return to the past, in the days when I was a child who just enjoyed life, the days before my mind was tortured and polluted by religion and God.

    I am now living in a nightmare, wondering what this thing is going to do next and totally powerless to stop it.

    Best wishes,
    Tannhauser

    #119131
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Tannhauser:

    Is it at all possible that you are not experiencing a supernatural experience; that you are experiencing the uncomfortable (definitely not divine!) yet very common stomach pain, flatulence and constipation?

    anita

    #119133
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    Keep out of this Anita. I don’t need your sneering tone.

    #119134
    anita
    Participant

    Okay, Tannhauser. I’ll keep out. (but please, no F words/ profanity, as on the other thread- that is against site guidelines on record; if you click FORUMS it’s the last post on that page)
    anita

    #119157
    Vesta Hera
    Participant

    @Tannhauser Thank you for your response in the other thread about your experiences with the Catholic church.
    I wanted to reply with some suggestions about how to keep the Kundalini under control. Have you read this? http://highexistence.com/topic/stopping-kundalini-any-advice/ I like the suggestion about surrendering to it and becoming one with it in order to control it.
    Here is another link: http://www.gurusfeet.com/forum/how-lose-kundalini-shaktipat-energy Apparently drinking alcohol, eating meat or things like that should help you lose this.
    Also, there is a woman by the name of Teal Swan who makes videos about this on YouTube. She also has a following on fb and groups where people talk about similar experiences. (See the groups “Truth Tribe” and “Teal Tribe” on facebook.)
    Here are some of her videos: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=teal+swan+kundalini

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by Vesta Hera.
    #119936
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    My belief system has completely collapsed.

    I am suffering dreadfully inside. I feel very empty. I want to get help but I don’t want to admit I am an incredibly weak person. I need to be strong for my mother because my father is ill and suffers with depression. On the other hand, I have a very strong desire to kill myself but worry it will go wrong and result in a prolonged death. I am in a terrible place, and the only way I can gain some relief is taking painkillers.

    This has all been caused by Kundalini/Spiritual Awakening. Don’t let ANYONE tell you that these are good things. They are NOT.

    Tannhauser

    #119973
    eight
    Participant

    Hi Tannhauser

    You forced me to log back in again. I am sorry that your blockages unable you to see the beauty of awakening. Remember you can always call for your guardian Angel for help in moments of weakness you will be surprised how magically things can change.

    You can heal your chakras all at once by simply saying in your mind or outloud number below, or write it in the air with your finger SPACES BETWEEN THE CODES ARE VERY IMPORTANT do it as many times as you want (Reiki frequency ‘martix’healing).

    I’ll also add base, root and solar plexus codes for you. Be good stay well and use it for the highest good of all x

    13 23 251 Base
    10 010 5856 Root
    80 03 011 Solar

    56 51 521 All chakras in one

    Love and light x

    #119975
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    Thank you H8.

    It is strange, but reciting those numbers had a positive effect on me (are you a wizard?). Sometimes, if I sit bolt upright I feel energies or vibrations coming into me and I start to oscillate slightly.

    Your talk of angels reminds me of something that happened in the summer. One Friday evening I was reading about angels and how they communicate with people. Apparently they leave coins or feathers. (I must admit, I was somewhat skeptical about the stories I read). Anyway, the next morning I went down to my garden pond to remove the nets covering it (they protect the fish from herons). I noticed that a two-pence coin had been placed on each net. For a long time I truly believed that angels had communicated with me, and I kept the coins. Until the fateful day a few weeks later when I told my mother about it. She immediately concluded that the kids from next door had thrown the coins over, and what’s more, she said that if it happened again it would be proof that the kids did it. I was brutally crushed, and because I am now more sensitive than ever I went to my room and wept. In my ‘grief’ and upset, I stupidly gave her the coins because I felt I had deluded myself.

    But the kids didn’t throw any more coins over the fence, and nor have they ever done so in all the years they have lived there.

    I now believe that the coins materialized out of thin air from another dimension. It has happened before. With a van! The van bore an unusual company name which does not even exist here in Britain. It was just parked up in the street, but I sensed there was something unusual about it.

    Thanks for your help. You are on my wavelength and you understand what I am going through. There is no-one I can turn to, and the biggest let down of them all was my parish priest. I went to him for help on two occasions, and on the last one he completely brushed me aside, he didn’t want to know. This episode was singularly the most devastating blow to my Catholicism. I can see that much of it is play-acting and lip-service, and I am now looking to leave with the minimum of fuss.

    Once again, many thanks.
    Tannhauser

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