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Vesta Hera

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  • #161593
    Vesta Hera
    Participant

    I completely forgot about this thread. I happened to google “why do I hate every job I have” and it linked me to this… and as I was reading the posts, I found my own post from last year! Well, things changed in that I have a new job (3 months in) and live in a different city and state. Guess what…. I don’t like this job, either 🙁 I kind of regret moving away and am thinking of moving back without a job.

    🙁

    Just like @Sabastien said, I just want peace and quiet. I want to disappear in the mountains or in nature and find my purpose.  I want to have a little house on a lot of land in the middle of nowhere. I hate working 9 – 5 in an office / cubicle.

    #119157
    Vesta Hera
    Participant

    @Tannhauser Thank you for your response in the other thread about your experiences with the Catholic church.
    I wanted to reply with some suggestions about how to keep the Kundalini under control. Have you read this? http://highexistence.com/topic/stopping-kundalini-any-advice/ I like the suggestion about surrendering to it and becoming one with it in order to control it.
    Here is another link: http://www.gurusfeet.com/forum/how-lose-kundalini-shaktipat-energy Apparently drinking alcohol, eating meat or things like that should help you lose this.
    Also, there is a woman by the name of Teal Swan who makes videos about this on YouTube. She also has a following on fb and groups where people talk about similar experiences. (See the groups “Truth Tribe” and “Teal Tribe” on facebook.)
    Here are some of her videos: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=teal+swan+kundalini

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 8 months ago by Vesta Hera.
    #119119
    Vesta Hera
    Participant

    Yes, throughout childhood and adulthood I never really finish what I start. Many of my childhood “hobbies” were ones that my parents pushed on me trying to live their childhoods vicariously through mine. I hated it all.

    #119117
    Vesta Hera
    Participant

    You are right. I have thought of corporate training or working in the capacity of training adults. I’m afraid I’ll start hating that too 🙁
    I just feel like there is something wrong with me since I am very prone to starting new projects / hobbies / endeavors and never finishing them.

    #119114
    Vesta Hera
    Participant

    I used to be a Christian. I tried turning to catholicism and I hated how their religion is all about guilt. I then got really into the New Age movement. I believed in reincarnation, karma, and all that stuff that new agers believe in.
    A few years ago, I lost my spirituality. I stopped believing after I got involved with mormons. What they were teaching me was so preposterous. They found me while I was going through hard times and I agreed to join their church. What BS. Their teachings triggered something in me… anger, rage towards their teachings on how to be ashamed of myself and think less of others who are not of their faith.
    I ended up resigning my membership from their church. It also caused me to become an Atheist.
    I tried again and again to rekindle my spirituality with the new age. I can’t.
    I don’t believe in God. Ever since I became an atheist, I’ve been very depressed, unhappy, and I feel very hopeless.

    I wish I could believe in God. I would be so much happier. But, I can’t no matter how try. To me, it’s all a lie.

    #119113
    Vesta Hera
    Participant

    Hi Anita,
    Argh.. I hate that question “what do you enjoy doing?” because the answer is nothing. 🙁 There is nothing in life that brings me joy. 🙁

    I hated the amount of work I would bring home with me while I was teaching. I hated all of the mandates passed down to me from the state. I hated the pressure, dealing with students, parents, administrators, etc.
    I hated the Professor and Principal Investigator (PI) I worked with in grad school. She was very condescending, treated others without a doctorate very poorly, and would fudge data to fit her hypothesis in an attempt to get the papers accepted into a journal. None of her studies can be replicated.

    I hate corporate America because I am bored to tears. I was hired to be a type of Engineer. Instead, I look at spreadsheets all day and discuss budgets. In addition, I now have to deal with irate customers. How did I go from being an Engineer to looking at budgets on a spreadsheet and dealing with irate customers? Also, my cubicle is very 1980s like and hasn’t been updated since then. No windows, the stench is terrible, and the harsh fluorescent light over my head gives me a headache.
    I’ve been job hunting and have sent out hundreds of resumes only to hear silence or get an automated canned response rejecting my application.

    In corporate America, I like how easy my job is compared to teaching. I like how I can go to the bathroom whenever I want and how I have a lot of down time. My nights and weekends are also free. In teaching, I loved the creativity and working with adolescents who enjoyed learning. I loved planning lessons and getting kids excited about learning. I loved pushing technology in learning and running professional development workshops for teachers. For fun, I still attend workshops for educators so I can stay on top of what’s going on in the profession. However, I am too scared to leave corporate America and the convenience of a boring, soul crushing 9-5 job in a cubicle.

    I thought a PhD would open doors to wonderful opportunities. That’s the biggest lie ever told. I hate this rat race but I am afraid I’ll go back to hating education if I return.

    Sorry for rambling. I don’t even know if I make sense. I am afraid I am being too idealistic by forgetting the really bad things about being a teacher.

    #119110
    Vesta Hera
    Participant

    With your skillset, have you looked into UX design? You would be working to understand people (cultures, likes, affinities, etc.) while using your graphical design skills to create user-friendly content?
    In the Bay Area, those jobs pay 6 figures.

    #119109
    Vesta Hera
    Participant

    Hi, I am late to the conversation but I am in a similar situation. I am almost 40 years old. After working as a teacher for 10 years, I burned out. I went back to grad school, got my PhD and now I work in corporate America. I’ve been working here for 2 years and I absolutely hate it. I’ve hated every job I’ve had. I hated teaching, then in grad school I hated research and now I hate my corporate America job. I am thinking about giving teaching another go.
    Counseling doesn’t work. I’m in counseling right now. I feel so depressed. A few months ago I was feeling that I would be better off dead. I should consider myself lucky that I have a job while people out there are struggling looking for one. Why can’t I be more grateful? Why can’t I just be happy?

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