October 28, 2016 at 5:34 pm #119113
Argh.. I hate that question “what do you enjoy doing?” because the answer is nothing. 🙁 There is nothing in life that brings me joy. 🙁
I hated the amount of work I would bring home with me while I was teaching. I hated all of the mandates passed down to me from the state. I hated the pressure, dealing with students, parents, administrators, etc.
I hated the Professor and Principal Investigator (PI) I worked with in grad school. She was very condescending, treated others without a doctorate very poorly, and would fudge data to fit her hypothesis in an attempt to get the papers accepted into a journal. None of her studies can be replicated.
I hate corporate America because I am bored to tears. I was hired to be a type of Engineer. Instead, I look at spreadsheets all day and discuss budgets. In addition, I now have to deal with irate customers. How did I go from being an Engineer to looking at budgets on a spreadsheet and dealing with irate customers? Also, my cubicle is very 1980s like and hasn’t been updated since then. No windows, the stench is terrible, and the harsh fluorescent light over my head gives me a headache.
I’ve been job hunting and have sent out hundreds of resumes only to hear silence or get an automated canned response rejecting my application.
In corporate America, I like how easy my job is compared to teaching. I like how I can go to the bathroom whenever I want and how I have a lot of down time. My nights and weekends are also free. In teaching, I loved the creativity and working with adolescents who enjoyed learning. I loved planning lessons and getting kids excited about learning. I loved pushing technology in learning and running professional development workshops for teachers. For fun, I still attend workshops for educators so I can stay on top of what’s going on in the profession. However, I am too scared to leave corporate America and the convenience of a boring, soul crushing 9-5 job in a cubicle.
I thought a PhD would open doors to wonderful opportunities. That’s the biggest lie ever told. I hate this rat race but I am afraid I’ll go back to hating education if I return.
Sorry for rambling. I don’t even know if I make sense. I am afraid I am being too idealistic by forgetting the really bad things about being a teacher.October 28, 2016 at 5:50 pm #119115
You wrote that there is nothing in life that brings you joy.
But you wrote that in teaching, I loved:
Working with adolescents who enjoyed learning
Getting kids excited about learning
Pushing technology in learning
Running professional development workshops for teachers.
stay on top of what’s going on in the profession (workshops).
I am wondering if you could do something in education that will combine the above- somehow teach interested/ motivated people, maybe teach teachers in workshops, teach them how to use technology in teaching, get them excited about learning technology…?
October 28, 2016 at 5:54 pm #119117
- This reply was modified 5 years, 9 months ago by anita.
You are right. I have thought of corporate training or working in the capacity of training adults. I’m afraid I’ll start hating that too 🙁
I just feel like there is something wrong with me since I am very prone to starting new projects / hobbies / endeavors and never finishing them.October 28, 2016 at 6:44 pm #119118
When did it start, you starting projects, hobbies and endeavors and not finishing them… in childhood, I presume? Do share…?
anitaOctober 28, 2016 at 6:59 pm #119119
Yes, throughout childhood and adulthood I never really finish what I start. Many of my childhood “hobbies” were ones that my parents pushed on me trying to live their childhoods vicariously through mine. I hated it all.October 28, 2016 at 7:04 pm #119120
Your parents tried to live their childhoods vicariously through your childhood, meaning, you didn’t have your OWN childhood…meaning the hobbies, the projects, endeavors were theirs, not yours, therefore you weren’t motivated to finish them?
anitaNovember 13, 2016 at 7:23 am #120253
Wow, didn’t know my thread was revived. Didn’t get notifications for some reason.
Haven’t found any solutions to my issue either.
I have found one thing that is helping, making sure to get out and do stuff with the wife on the weekend rather than sitting around the house staring at the walls, dreading Monday.
Distraction I suppose.
Ever see an old Tom Hanks movie called Joe vs. The Volcano? The beginning of the movie seems to parallel the experience people like us live with every day.November 13, 2016 at 8:21 am #120255
Dear Mr. Ritz:
Welcome back to your own thread! There is a way to get a notification in your email account if a member tags your name, at least sometimes it works this way. If your name is not tagged, there is no notification.
In your last post, July 17 this year, you wrote: “I have some friends who are few years older than me. Both are very highly paid professionals with over a million in retirement accounts and generous pensions to boot (both of them). They don’t live extravagantly but they feel like THEY cannot afford to retire! I would have retired years ago if I had that kind of money. I guess it’s a matter of perspective.”
Above, you mentioned the movie The Volcano. I watched it or parts of it. I guess your friends, with over a million in retirement accounts and generous pensions to boot, they too wake up every day to The Volcano experience. You think that you wouldn’t, if you had their money. Yet there are people who would look at your financial situation, saying: if I had Mr. Ritz’s finances, I would retire!
It is a matter of perspective- worth looking into it.
anitaNovember 13, 2016 at 11:44 am #120271
I doubt they have the “Volcano” experience as they are upper level professionals who are treated much different that us common wage slaves. They can negotiate their salaries and benefits.
My company only offers 6 paid holidays per year and no sick days or personal time. “Go work somewhere else if you don’t like it” is the answer you get if you complain.February 4, 2017 at 7:27 pm #126752SabastienParticipant
Hey Kirk, I am totally interested in that lifestyle you live. I have noticed that no matter what job I have, I never seem to get along with all my co workers. Some way or another, someone always tries to find a way to get me fired. I am not like everybody else. I believe in being nice to everyone, I am quite talkative at times, I love heavy metal music and exploring, as well as Buddhism, but the rejection I get from everyone makes me dislike the human race. People can be so rude and cruel. I have begun to enjoy the quiet solitude away from everyone. Everytime I would get outdoors and up in the mountains, I feel as if I am home. Recently I just had a bad breakup, I lost my job, my home and had nowhere else to go. I had to move back in with my parents in a town I moved away from in the first place. I hate this town as I am surrounded by my old drunk friends from college. There are no opportunities here to thrive at all! I have tried looking for work, but I cannot get hired even in a Mcdonalds because they want more college experience which is silly for flipping burgers. I donate plasma every week to pay for storage and I recently became a full time student. I absolutely hate my classes. I chose HVAC because I thought it would be interesting but it certainly isn’t interesting enough to keep my mind from daydreaming about being in the mountains and the wilderness, that’s where my heart is, but I don’t know where to start. I think about leaving everything behind all the time, but I have no money, no car. What would you suggest? I will stick it out longer and try to graduate but I just don’t feel the need to continue in this meaningless life…I just want peace and quiet, to be able to live with purpose instead of working to pay for something you have to work for. Working on a farm in the middle of no where sounds ideal to me!August 1, 2017 at 11:46 am #161593
I completely forgot about this thread. I happened to google “why do I hate every job I have” and it linked me to this… and as I was reading the posts, I found my own post from last year! Well, things changed in that I have a new job (3 months in) and live in a different city and state. Guess what…. I don’t like this job, either 🙁 I kind of regret moving away and am thinking of moving back without a job.
Just like @Sabastien said, I just want peace and quiet. I want to disappear in the mountains or in nature and find my purpose. I want to have a little house on a lot of land in the middle of nowhere. I hate working 9 – 5 in an office / cubicle.August 4, 2017 at 4:29 pm #162228
Happy to see my thread is still going!
Happy to report that I am doing better. I’ve always assumed the bosses and co-workers knew what was going on, had a plan, and so forth. I’ve come to realize that no one completely has their shit together.
I’ve been given some responsibilities, and it seems to suite me. The boss has told me he likes the work I do and my attention to detail. People have started to ask me for help and advice.
Confidence is what I think I have been lacking. Starting to see the company as “mine” rather than someplace to work…..I guess they call it taking ownership.
Anyway……I just read Sabastien’s post. Sorry about your string of bad luck. On the other hand, I see it as you having total freedom. No kids, wife or house to be responsible for, only yourself (am I correct?) I would suggest you change your major to something like forestry, environmental science, something in an agricultural degree, or any career that’s going to get you in an outdoor environment. You the opportunity to do anything at this point.August 5, 2017 at 4:46 am #162268
Dear Mr. Ritz:
I am glad to read that you are doing better, way better. I agree that “no one completely has their s** together” and I add: often, not even close. And so, to the title of your thread: “- what’s wrong with me?” I hope you agree with my answer: nothing’s wrong with you. You are a human being who doesn’t have his s** perfectly together at all times, just like any other person in this world.
anitaAugust 23, 2017 at 7:56 am #165268ElianaParticipant
Hi Mr. Ritz,
I just read your post, and it looks like you had alot of great replies. I wanted to answer, because your story sounds alot like mine. I am 55 now, and am currently disabled. Had to stop working several years ago. I don’t go into all the details. But I too went from job to job. I think my longest job was 3 years. I did it all I think. Retail..hated it..had to stand around a store all day in high heals sometimes I would have to open and close the store, going in at 9am leaving at 9pm. I was only in my early 20’s. Already started having having back problems from the constant standing in heels. Then I had to work alot with teenagers. Although, my sales quota was very good, I wasn’t happy.
I also did alot of work in call centers. Customer service and tech support. I liked it, because I sort of felt I was so much on phones, taking 100+ calls a day, did not have to deal with annoying co-workers. Although there were at times, I did enjoy some comraderie and laughter. It was the irate customers I did not like. Also having to be monitored. I took alot of these jobs, but never really happy and never lasted. I also did alot of temp work..just could not find anything I liked. Finally went back to school and finished my AA degree and BA degree. But no luck in that either, as everyone in the field wanted 5 years experience and Masters degree, but by this time, I had so much school loan debt.
So, I went back to call center jobs..annoying co-workers, irate callers, being monitored. I started having anxiety and panic attacks, depression and hospitalizations.
I am wondering if you would be happier working from home? Maybe a telecommuting job, I’m not quite sure how to call it. You wouldn’t have to deal with annoying co-workers and bosses so much..just some thoughts.October 11, 2017 at 12:35 pm #172771GrzegorzParticipant
I grew up in a small village and can’t stand city, concrete and to many people in one place. I feel exactly the same as people above. I would love to move back to the village. I don’t have any money though.