Mr. Ritz

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    Mr. Ritz


    Wow, that is fascinating, the difference between real and imagined danger. That gives me a lot to think about (I may even print it out).
    I will try to place myself in the OP as you call it. I think it sounds difficult to do, but I will try.

    As for the Benzos, I don’t think (or I hope) I’m not addicted to them, even though this seems to be a time when I’ve needed them more often than before.

    I have had a prescription for a very long time, over 20 years, but don’t recall having difficulty getting off of them. In fact I can recall times when I was feeling good and saw them in the medicine cabinet, and couldn’t remember for a moment why I was taking them.

    Seeing my Psychologist next week and I’m sure she’ll have more medication adjustments. She’s trying to get me down to just 1 pill.

    Thanks so much.

    Mr. Ritz

    Spoke to my psychologist today. I believe my last 2 days of bad anxiety may be triggered by a conversation I had with my younger  Brother Saturday. He has much worse heart problems than I do including an implanted defibrillator. He was feeling quite down and hopeless about his condition. I guess rubbed off on me, just like issues with other friends and relatives have in the past.

    Mr. Ritz

    [quote quote=424997]Dear Mr. Ritz: Welcome back, good to read from you again! “I still want to find the root cause of my anxiety if possible“- what about what we discussed May 2016- Dec 2022 in your previous six threads, in regard to the cause root of your anxiety? anita[/quote]

    Hi Anita,

    I’ll read through the old threads.

    I will say that the anticipation about the heart surgery is at the front of the issues. The local hospital lost the Dr. That does this procedure, so we have to drive an hour and a half to another hospital.

    It’s supposed to be very successful, but can give you some arrhythmia as it heals, but he has medicine I’m going to be on for a few months to hopefully prevent that.

    My psychiatrist said she thinks I have a chemical imbalance while the psychologist says I need to figure out my triggers and all the drugs in the world won’t cure it. I guess that’s no surprise.

    Mr. Ritz


    I’m back. My Psychologist is great I see here every month or so as we are adjusting my medication. 30-60 min visit, what ever we need.

    I also have a Psychologist for counseling that I see once a week who I also like quite a bit, but we do tend to get off track a lot and just BS, I suppose because I don’t have anyone else in my life that I can talk to like that, it’s bound to happen.

    The Psychiatrist has worked me down off Trintellix, which probably wasn’t working anymore and we have ramped up to 20mg a day of Viibryd. I’m also still on 20 mg of buspar taken 2X a day, which she is is planning to work me off of the next time I see her.
    I started to feel pretty good once I got down to the 10mg dose of Trintellix (down from 40mg) as we ramped up the Viibryd, but then I went back to where I was, but at a slightly lower level.

    Now that I’m off Trintellix and just on the Viibryd & Buspar I still am not great. I need a Klonopin about every 2 days, and taking that makes me feel like I failed, even though it makes me feel better. I’m trying not to get a tolerance to it where it won’t work anymore, so I avoid taking unless I just can’t stand the anxiety anymore.
    Woke up today with a fast heartbeat and a knot in my stomach….not reason, just another panicky day.

    I still want to find the root cause of my anxiety if possible. 

    There is an upcoming heart ablation procedure which is supposed to correct my Atrial Flutter and I’m excited but nervous about that. I’s happened 3 times total so far, twice this year. I got a bad virus (May) and I got Covid (September). Landed in the hospital for a night both times. Covid this time wasn’t any worse than a bad cold thanks to having my shots, but it still messed up my heart rhythm.
    Apart from that, this anxiety has been going on for years. I am so so very tired of it interrupting my life. I’ve got drugs, tried to meditate, do breathing exercises, going for walks (which does help a bit) read a lot of articles, \

    I’m just about desperate enough to find one of those people who lead you on a guided psychedelic mushroom trip. Any one try that? I hear it’s life changing.
    Thanks for listening to mw whine 🙂

    Mr. Ritz

    [quote quote=418199]You mentioned you’ll start seeing a new psychiatrist. Is she also offering counseling/psychotherapy? Because I guess that’s what you’d need if you want to address childhood issues.[/quote]

    I am unsure but it said visits were 60-90 minutes. Any other Psy I have dealt with was 15-20 min.

    Mr. Ritz

    So I’m wondering how to deal with this to avoid another incident?
    If I’m not feeling any strong emotions when I hear the news, what am I supposed to do to avoid the anxiety later?

    Mr. Ritz

    [quote quote=418178]My untrained guess is that the unconscious issue that you would prefer not to make conscious is something to do with the notion of death.  If so facing your fear and concept of death,  making that conscious should help reduce the number and or  intensity of future anxiety attacks.[/quote]

    That may be close to the truth. I thought I’d made my peace with death, but maybe not 🙁 Our group of friends as well as us are all past 60, so it’s probably on my mind more than before.
    Getting a new Psychiatrist so I’ll bring that up to her.

    [quote quote=418179]Well, it can happen to anyone, however I believe there are still reasons. They don’t always have to be physical, such as high cholesterol, but there can be psychological reasons too, such as stress. And I believe that suppressing emotions can actually contribute to stress and cardiovascular problems… Anyway, I don’t think it’s that random. But that’s just my opinion, I tend to believe in the mind-body connection and a holistic view of disease…[/quote]

    That also should be true. This friend is one of the most relaxed mellow guys I know, but his wife is pretty intense. He may suppress some anger, but I’ve never seen him let it out.

    Mr. Ritz

    “Maybe this is a stretch, so please disregard if it doesn’t apply. But in any case, it seems like something is triggered – something that is beyond your conscious awareness. One possibility why things are beyond our conscious awareness is that they were not allowed to be expressed, typically in our childhood (say we weren’t allowed to cry or show weakness), and so we have suppressed them.”

    That sounds pretty accurate. My wife on the other hand will show the emotions right away, where I don’t. I should feel it at the time, but I don’t. I wasn’t sad, I was surprised but glad.

    This issue with my friend’s heart trouble is actually good news as they caught it in time. Having the same procedure done myself, I’m sure that he’s feeling better (still waiting on his return call).
    Unlike me, he’s healthy, active, does not have high cholesterol or blood pressure and is not overweight.

    Maybe that’s the scary part? It could happen to anyone anytime regardless of taking precautions?

    Mr. Ritz

    Again last night!
    A friend discovered a 90% blockage in his LAD and had 2 stents installed. 5 years ago I had an 80% blockage in the same artery and had a stent installed.
    They call this one “The Widowmaker” because it can be fatal if completely blocked.
    Anyhow, he’s fine now.

    I was sound asleep, but got up to use the bathroom last night and realized my heart was beating fast and uneven, and I was hot and sweaty. I took a Xanax to make sure it wasn’t due to the cough medicine I took before bed, and sure enough, within the next hour, my heart began to slow down and beat normally again.

    Sounds like I’m some type of empath that absorbs the problems of other people that I know? Why would I be so affected?
    Can anyone shine a light on this?

    Mr. Ritz

    Thanks, same to you.
    We got hit with a blizzard and all Christmas plans are off, but we are sitting here watching movies and cooking.

    Mr. Ritz

    “do you often or regularly doubt your choices after the fact?”

    Of course I do. Lots of buyers remorse on this house for example.

    Mr. Ritz

    That could be part of it.
    It seems to be certain areas. For example, I can work on a car with no problem (apart from physical limitations now).
    Maybe it’s just inexperience?

    Mr. Ritz

    Wow, thanks for checking up on me. It’s really nice to have an e mail from a real person and not a mailing list for once 🙂

    The basement insulation/studs are done. I just need to finish insulating around the top of the wall (Rim Joist). Unfortunately my next material order delivery is about a month away.
    I could start building the interior walls, but am still unsure how to approach it. Wish I had some help.

    My anxiety is still bad, usually worse in the morning. I’m going to try switching my antidepressant to bedtime as the upset stomach it causes is getting worse (or I’m noticing it more) and that just makes me feel worse.

    Had my 1st appointment with new councilor. Since we moved I had to find a new one. I must have seen 7-8 in the past several years. A couple were good, some weren’t. No one has ever really gotten to the bottom of my issues.

    Also got a new dog.
    She is great, still needs a lot of work outside on the leash and she really doesn’t like other dogs so walks have to be planned carefully around houses with dogs outside.
    I was hoping she’d make me feel better and in a way she does, but now I have the responsibility of a pet on my hands. Maybe it was a little too early for me to get her? I feel like maybe I should have had the house finished first? But she does ease the loneliness.

    Mr. Ritz

    I’ll try, thanks.

    Mr. Ritz

    Just a regular old Midwest thunderstorm. Power is back now.

    As for hobbies, I was glad to have a house with a basement, so that I could have a small workshop. Once it’s at least insulated, I can start getting my shop put back together.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 39 total)