Forum Replies Created
September 16, 2020 at 10:13 am #366820
Yes, I think you are on to something. Please share your thoughts.September 16, 2020 at 10:07 am #366818
Interesting. Please go on.September 16, 2020 at 3:23 am #366807
Didn’t realize it had been that long since I’ve posted. I’m still dealing with anxiety, but I had seen a very good therapist who used EMDR on me which helped some of my issues.
I feel like I have made peace with my job, and they are currently allowing me to work from home, with the occasional guest appearance at the building for training or meetings. I’m not sure how long this will last however.
I was furloughed for 4 months once this pandemic started and on the days when I wasn’t having anxiety over getting the virus, the state of our country, or if I was going to have a job to return to, I found myself enjoying the time off. I started a garden and was able to spend the day on my terms. I was always debating on when to retire, but now am convinced that I’m going to semi/sort of retire at 62. The days went by very quickly however.
Money is still a concern and I’m afraid that unless the wife gets a job that pays enough to bring her income back to where it was (either job alone or job + her pension), and a potential move is going to really break us financially.December 26, 2018 at 2:59 pm #271067
Anita, thanks for responding.
Since you asked, the arthritis is worse (it’s never going to get better is it?) I’ve accepted it as a normal part of life. It’s been bad this past 3 weeks as I have been doing manual labor at work, building large wooden crates for show displays to be shipped in. Not my job and probably shouldn’t be doing it, but I have a co-worker who’s year and a half older than me and he’s out there doing it too. Hard to wimp out when the he’s getting it done (BTW us older guys can work circles around the 28 yer old!).
In other news, the super annoying co-worker that I complained about finally got fired this past spring, so I don’t have to deal with him anymore!
Maybe I have to be working in order to feel useful and not be accused of being a lazy person (something I think is a holdover from my father). Even thought he passed away 6 years ago, I still feel him over my shoulder sometimes.December 26, 2018 at 10:08 am #271005
I did re read them. Was there something that stood out to you as a solution? If there was, I didn’t catch it, other than the self employment thought.August 4, 2017 at 4:29 pm #162228
Happy to see my thread is still going!
Happy to report that I am doing better. I’ve always assumed the bosses and co-workers knew what was going on, had a plan, and so forth. I’ve come to realize that no one completely has their shit together.
I’ve been given some responsibilities, and it seems to suite me. The boss has told me he likes the work I do and my attention to detail. People have started to ask me for help and advice.
Confidence is what I think I have been lacking. Starting to see the company as “mine” rather than someplace to work…..I guess they call it taking ownership.
Anyway……I just read Sabastien’s post. Sorry about your string of bad luck. On the other hand, I see it as you having total freedom. No kids, wife or house to be responsible for, only yourself (am I correct?) I would suggest you change your major to something like forestry, environmental science, something in an agricultural degree, or any career that’s going to get you in an outdoor environment. You the opportunity to do anything at this point.November 14, 2016 at 9:51 am #120374
Thanks for the replies.
FYI, I’m not in fear of this guy, he’s just disruptive.
Changing seats is not possible as its a very small room we are in.
I actually have captured some of his nonsense noise on my phone.
The topic did come up today when speaking with the boss, but he seems to think it’s all pretty amusing. The boss is a young guy who i like, but he’s not real professional and has no filter at all, so i hesitate to tell him much for fear he could repeat it.November 13, 2016 at 11:44 am #120271
I doubt they have the “Volcano” experience as they are upper level professionals who are treated much different that us common wage slaves. They can negotiate their salaries and benefits.
My company only offers 6 paid holidays per year and no sick days or personal time. “Go work somewhere else if you don’t like it” is the answer you get if you complain.November 13, 2016 at 7:23 am #120253
Wow, didn’t know my thread was revived. Didn’t get notifications for some reason.
Haven’t found any solutions to my issue either.
I have found one thing that is helping, making sure to get out and do stuff with the wife on the weekend rather than sitting around the house staring at the walls, dreading Monday.
Distraction I suppose.
Ever see an old Tom Hanks movie called Joe vs. The Volcano? The beginning of the movie seems to parallel the experience people like us live with every day.July 17, 2016 at 10:18 am #109849
I agree on some points. We will always be here for the kids when they need us, and they will I’m sure even after they’ve been on their own.
I still have the stress of thinking/knowing I don’t have enough for a comfortable retirement and want to hoard as much money as possible till I feel comfortable.
Will the comfortable point ever come? Probably not.
I have some friends who are few years older than me. Both are very highly paid professionals with over a million in retirement accounts and generous pensions to boot (both of them). They don’t live extravagantly but they feel like THEY cannot afford to retire! I would have retired years ago if I had that kind of money.
I guess it’s a matter of perspective.July 17, 2016 at 7:19 am #109832
One of the kids is out of the house and self sufficient (serving in the USAF) the other one just graduated college but still lives at home. The car he drives just broke down last week and the repair will be expensive. We will be covering the cost for that since he just started working and does not have any money yet.
Can’t start coasting yet. Things like this pop up.July 16, 2016 at 6:01 pm #109809
BTW, thanks everyone for the input. I’ve gotten further here than I have by talking to numerous councilors over the years,July 16, 2016 at 5:59 pm #109808
Anita, It’s been both really.
We were never homeless or hungry, but it was way too close for comfort.
It was the early 90’s. My wife was still trying to finish school, we had twin toddlers and I was hardly making any money when I was working. There were frequent layoffs and we literally were raiding the kids piggy bank for gas money. A $50 car repair may as well be $5000, I just didn’t have it.
Since these were pre-internet days, finding a job consisted of you looking for ads in the paper then actually driving to a place to apply (we live in a mostly rural area, no public transportation). Needless to say it was very difficult.
There were also a few times when I was totally blindsided by a job loss.
Seriously, no clue, no warnings, you came to work one day and were told you no longer had a job. During the last crash I ended up selling a lot of things, including my car (that only had 1 more year of payments left) just to stay afloat. I damm near broke out in tears right in front of everyone as I handed the dealer my keys.
This is another factor in my desire for self employment, a lack of trust in employers. Things are better now, but I will never forget those times and feel like it could happen again at any time.July 16, 2016 at 4:31 am #109788
Maybe once I’m old enough to draw from SSI and my retirement funds I’ll have the confidence to be self employed (I’ll still need to do something with my time. I’m not good at sitting still).
The fear of being broke is huge. I didn’t work during most of 2010 after the financial crash & burn and it was extremely stressful even though I was able to draw unemployment. This is why getting debit free is really important to me now.
As much as I should be patient and ride this out, I feel like these are also wasted years as I’m not enjoying life like I feel like should.
Guess I need to make sure and keep buying those lottery tickets:-)July 13, 2016 at 4:21 am #109541
Thanks again everyone for the input.
A bit of better news. I believe I figured out the cause of my work anxiety. Seems it was the memory of a very upsetting incident while working for my father around 20 years ago.
We got into a huge argument and at one point he said either get back to work or get out. I had a family to support, it was a hard decision, but I could take no more and left. I did not speak to my father for a year!
I was reading somewhere that you should recall painful incidents in the past, think about them then, address your feelings and move on. Amazingly that seemed to work.
That being said, I still have most of my original problem of not liking work, and yes it’s a lot to do with my co workers and my feeling that I don’t have control of my situation. Elizabeth, you’re right, I am burned out and tired.
I would love to have my own business, but there are many issues I have with that. Maybe if I could be mentored through the process it would help?
I’m scared to borrow any money. To me, that feels like committing myself to many more years of work (because I lack confidence my business would succeed?) I don’t know how to “run” a business when it comes to things like taxes, becoming an LLC, insurance, etc… And I don’t know what type of business to start.