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Tommy

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 127 total)
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  • #428227
    Tommy
    Participant

    So, if I am reading this right, .. you had a dream that you were in your meditation room trying to open your third eye or crown chakra. Prior to this you actually were in your meditation room thinking about how to open your third eye. Cause and effect?? You wanted something and so dreamed about it? Wanting it so much and thinking hard about it, this seems to have brought about this bout of dreams.

    Question, how is the meditation? Are you in your thoughts? Or are you sitting aware and in silence. Some people have a misunderstanding. They believe that meditation is letting their thoughts flow. Some even believe that they must silence their thoughts. Neither is right. Buddha having heard the fisherman say that holding on too tight the fish will escape and holding too loose the fish will escape. It was then he discovered the middle way. One must not hold thoughts off and one must not let thoughts flow. It is in the middle where concentration holds the attention. Thoughts may flow but one is not carried away. One has silence but not held by force.

    Having intentions of opening chakras is not a problem but the desire comes to act on its own upon the person having the desires. And, so, the dreams and the intense feeling upon the brain. Some Zen practice called hou tou is intense and can produce similar effects. There are Koans. Like, What is the meaning of “MU”? Constant thinking and questioning, the mind is absolutely absorbed in MU. Or, what is the sound of one hand clap? Then totally absorbed to find an answer, suddenly a burst and the mind sees a glimpse of the truth of the nature of ourselves. Sometimes no mind is opened and sometimes it works. It all depends upon the person.

    I would encourage you to find a teacher who can actually help you. And a Sangha that can bring about the effort you need to go forward. Good Luck.

    #428142
    Tommy
    Participant

    When Buddha was in the midst of his fasting and going to the extreme of denying the body, he heard a someone on the river say that hold on too hard and it get away from you. Hold to loose and it will run away. So, like sand, hold on too tight and the grains fall out of one’s grip. Hold to loose and still the sand will fall out. It was then, Buddha realized the middle way. And so it is with meditation. One experiences life using the internal dialogue. Understanding, comprehension, wants, desires, everything goes thru this mind. To meditate holding on too tight or holding too loose will let everything out of your grip. Meditation is not letting go. And it is not forcefully controlling thought. It is one pointed concentration. It is holding attention and it is breathing in the air. The middle way. The eightfold path. Yeah, too much coffee this morning

    #428141
    Tommy
    Participant

    Nothing better than to have someone next to you to give you help, strength and encouragement to move forward in your journey. Well, other than to have a great teacher.

    #428140
    Tommy
    Participant

    No one can give you advice on how to live your life without you having that person to blame for anything to go wrong. Never taking responsibility for your own actions. Regret? Always regret for not having taken the road not chosen. For not doing better. For making the last choice. Looking back means going back. If things were to going good then it would have continued. If things were going bad but have taken a turn for the better then it would have. It didn’t. You are going to have to decide and follow with actions. I give no advice and I give no comfort for your situation. Everyone has their own situations and choices to make. And the only thing one can count on is that everything changes over time. Which ever path you choose, I wish you luck.

    #428071
    Tommy
    Participant

    You grew up in an environment that did not have close friendship. and you think the grass is greener on the other side. So, you long for a friend that you imagine will be he perfect listener. Sorry, life isn’t fair and you are disappointed. Go read a book. “How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie. You can get some understanding of the structure of some friendships. Now, you can expand your understanding by using what you have learned. Meet someone and talk. The toughest part may be finding someone who has similar interest or lives nearby.

    Personally, I have had friends. Close friends which have disappointed me. In high school, my best friend was gay. Although in those days it was not cool and everyone made it a miserable thing to be. Anyway, I go out to visit my girlfriend. My best friend at the time gets drunk and follows me to my girlfriend. He then proceeds to rip out the phone from the wall. I get in trouble and lose my girlfriend. Yeah, so it may have been nice to have a friend but …. Anyway, now 65 years old, I just do not wish to have close friends. I just hang with the wife and daughter. They have their friends and that is enough for me. I keep busy with my hobbies.

    How to make real friends? Well, that depends on the person you are trying to be friends with. It may be a person who gets close to you and helps you. Or it could turn out to be someone close who can ruin you. So, I wish you good luck and happiness.

    #427947
    Tommy
    Participant

    [quote quote=427880]Now, even though the issues is resolved and I am studying at my dream place, I keep on getting flashbacks of that situation, and I sometimes keep on ruminating on what ifs like what if that situation would have actually happened. It is taking an emotional toll now and I am sort of tired of ruminating on intrusive thoughts and having breakdowns even though that situation didn’t happen in reality. Please suggest what should I do[/quote]

    You know what needs to be done to get you out of this cycle of believing your thoughts more than the reality. You need to release the thoughts of these possible tragedy. To not bring to mind these thoughts. It will take time to make your mind run a routine of being mindful of your thoughts. Control your feelings and what concerns you. Sure it is not an easy thing to do when you are in the middle of the thoughts. Feelings pop up and discord takes over. But, if you keep the practice of being mindful of the present and the things you need to do and think about then eventually you will make progress to living in the present and being happy. But, if you continue to ruminate over the past then all hell breaks loose. You will lose yourself in those thoughts. I wish you strength and a good handle of those things you need to deal with. Good Luck.

    #427882
    Tommy
    Participant

    [quote quote=425580]

    This post is awaiting moderation.

    [/quote] November 23, 2023

    #427846
    Tommy
    Participant

    I like the way Zen Buddhism gets to the direct point. Much like the story of the westerner going to Japan to learn about Zen. He goes to the master’s house to interview him. Rings the door bell. The master answers and invites the westerner in. They sit down. The master then offers tea. The gentleman kindly accepts. The master starts tot pour the tea. It goes to the brim and he keeps pouring. The man stands up to avoid getting the tea on his pants. He says, the cup is full. No more can go in. The master says that the cup is like the westerner’s mind. It is full of ideas about Zen that there is no room for more.

    So, what is the point? Why tell you this story? There is so much going on in your life. You just do not see the whole picture. Buddha said that life is Dukkha. Some translate that to suffering. It is more of s dis-satisfaction with life. Buddha was a prince whose father protected him from the ills of life. Gave him women to serve him. Food to fill his belly. All the pleasures of life. And, still he was not satisfied. You are going thru similar feelings. You live this life but are not satisfied by it. Is it friends you want? Is it a good education? A career that excites you? You find, once you have that something new, you begin to long for the next big thing. If you think you do not belong in this group, that you are special, that there is something more to life, that you deserve more or better. Then, I am sorry I posted here.

    There really is not much more to say. I wish you a great life. Be happy.

    #427778
    Tommy
    Participant

    Life has no meaning unless one gives it one. Life is divine when one travels the spiritual path.

    #427777
    Tommy
    Participant

    Seems that it has been a couple of years since the OP has been here. Please let it be that he has found peace. Calling it , .. His horror with Kundalini, … whether it is or is not , … that is not the point. I neither believe in his story nor do I disbelieve. It was something he posted in his time of pain. Pain can make men do strange things.

    For me, pain is quite a personal thing which I tend to not share unless I think I can find relief such as going to see the doctor. However, there are people who come to forums to talk about their pain in relationships. Seeking friendly words and may be some helpful advice. He did not seem to want advice nor did he reach out for relief of his pain. He only seemed to want to share his pain. And in that way, I hope he found relief.

    What is there to take away from such a person? He was a sight one sees along one’s journey when one stops to see the sights. Now time to move on.

    #427741
    Tommy
    Participant

    No one knows you better than you. However, yours is a viewpoint from only one side. Seeing you at 31 being engaged and about to be married, you now have feelings of distrust and don’t know what to do about it. Lie- leave or stay? I can only ask you if you are happy? Are you happy? Are you happy being with this man or not? He will not make you happy. You must find happiness in yourself first. Then, his presence will compliment your happiness. If you are not happy then his presence will only make for more grist for the mill. You then will only grind out more drama. If you do not think you can get over these deceptions then maybe it is time to be alone? Maybe you do not want to be alone? Can you survive a collision with yourself? I wish you well. And hope you find the happiness you deserve.

    #427727
    Tommy
    Participant

    Buddha and the truth, …

    In the times of the Buddha, a man came up to the Buddha and asked if God exist? Is there a God? After talking to this man for a little while, he answered that there is no God. Buddha’s disciples noted this. At another time, another man came to the Buddha and asked does God Exist? Buddha talked with this man and finally answered that God does exist? Buddha’s disciples were now very confused. The disciples asked why Buddha answered that there is not God and there is a God. What is the truth? Buddha replied that the first man did believe in God. And if he was told there is a God then his spiritual journey would end with that answer there is a God. So, he was told there is no God. The second man did not believe in God and his spiritual journey would end if he was told there is no God. The truth was that neither person was ready to end their journey. They needed to continue.

    So, is there a God or is there no God? Does it matter? What is the truth? What matters is to lead those people to find the truth. To continue their journey and find their truth. Where does this compassion and wisdom come from? The deepest part of love.

    This is such a simple story and so full of traps to fall into. Believe in the Matrix? Believe that it does not matter to learn to have an honest living? That one’s life is a program to do as society says to do? That seems to me to be a very narrow view of life.

    #427540
    Tommy
    Participant

    What was described in the first post are the steps involved with beginning meditation. There literally thousands of ways to meditate. Some bring immediate help and relief from stress. Others do nothing but help one fantasize. There is relaxation and release of thoughts. There is one pointed meditation. There is meditation on words or mantras. And many others.

    Some people meditate for relief of stress. Others look for enlightenment. What is the purpose of your meditation? What are you looking to do? Goal? How one meditates depends on what is one’s aim. And, if there is no aim then that is also an aim.

    There are plenty of people who can give you advice based upon what you said or not said. Plenty of Youtube videos. Instructions abound. All you have to do is choose.

    #427539
    Tommy
    Participant

    Sorry, I am not a woman so I do not see it from a woman’s point of view. You seems to be more invested into this relationship than just platonic. There has been no meeting and no face time? If you want to meet so badly as to cut him off unless he is on a plane to meet you then it must mean you want something more than friends?

    From the man’s point of view, he does not want to commit to a relationship that he is unsure of. Yes, platonic. Then as friends, the only demand should be to talk every so often as to keep in touch and up to date about life. But, if you are a woman then he might have feelings that he can not control. It makes him want to meet you. He may want to see if there is a possibility of more than friendship but he is not willing to be rejected. Putting pressure on him to be on a plane to go meet you, that is in a sense rejection. He will feel this. And depending upon how deeply he wants to meet you, he will make his decision.

    That song by Nicollete Larson, “Lotta Love”. It comes to my mind when I read your post. I hope you find what you’re looking for.

    #427420
    Tommy
    Participant

    Men instinctively want a woman who is not seeing more than one person at a time. And since she hid the fact she had a sugar daddy, whether there was sex or not, it was like a betrayal. You could not hide your disappointment by not testing her good nite. That was you rejecting her. She read your feelings. And saw that there was no way you could get over it. You having made a decision to stay with her. She rejected you. She is not going to give up someone with money and who can give her things she wants along with experiences that comes from having plenty of money. Remember her suggestion that you could sleep with other women?

    To answer your question, you presented your feelings even though you do not think you did. She, having a clear mind, also made the decision to end it. Her situation is not what you are looking for and will cause more issues in the future.

    You’re lucky to have met someone who gave you a chance. Now you live and love. It is time to grow.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 127 total)