Thanks. Going to live with my uncle for a while when he passes (both their wishes) and will take it from there. Will also quit my job I have been there for a few decades, but it’s time to move on to bigger and better things. Going to be weird not having him around anymore…but I can’t fall apart.

So he went to hospice on Sunday May 25th, he started declining extremly fast and was crying asking to die because he was in so much pain even with all the hospice drugs going through him, he doesn’t wanna live anymore. Wants to do MAID, wont be until Friday but he wants to die like right now, he can’t take the pain anymore. So instead of MAID they put him on pallitive sedation, he’s out cold now with no pain and sleeping and will pass away I am guessing in a few days in his sleep (he always wanted to die in his sleep even before he had cancer if he was to die). If he knows you and you talk firmly to him even though he’s sleeping he will still look your way and try say something even though he’s in lala land, but he still hears you subconsciously. Looked like he wanted to say something to me and the rest of the family but nothing came out, he was still sleeping. I support any decision he wants to end his suffering and I was there until nearly 5AM. Before they sedated him I told him I loved him and I am sorry for anything I did to him that made him mad, he said he loves me, forever. I’ll still keep my job, pops and uncles request.

I am so horrible today, my dad died just before noon. Lost his brutal battle to cancer. He’s in a better place now, now I gotta figure out what to do and how to survive this. A councellor came in and told him me and his brother are going to be OK and that he is going to be OK if he decides he’s ready to move on, not much later he gave his last breath. I was freaking out when hospice called me…goodbye dad. 🙁