Dear Danielle:

I am fine, thank you for asking. Good idea that you stayed offline so to prevent googling about your relationship. I am glad your relationship is well, excellent job, both of you.

The Compulsion to ask him questions so to ease the distress in your Obsession (he is lying to me about something else) is what Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is about. Obsession/distress->compulsion/temporary relief. Back to obsession and repeat. Your Obsession changed a bit, from he lied to me about that particular girl to- he lied to me about another or other girls. And so the questions you ask him are a bit different, but it is still, of course, OCD.

Like I suggested before, if you avoid asking the questions (aka the Compulsion) you will weaken the drive to ask in the future (over time). You kind of starve the connection between the Obsession and the Compulsion that way. It will be more difficult to do when you are tired or otherwise distressed. But the practice will be worth it for you.

You have to deal with the OCD. I don’t remember if we discussed seeing a psychotherapist specializing in OCD? I also wonder if in psychotherapy you can work on the connection between your mother’s interrogation of you and your OCD interrogations of our boyfriend.

Your boyfriend reads like a fine young man and patient.. and loving of you. Nothing so far is suspect to me, nothing about his behavior and what he said to you. Everything you shared so far is congruent with OCD.

(I read your update, by the way) Post anytime, take breaks from online when you need to. Whenever you post on this thread (or a new thread)- I will reply.

anita