I’m divided on what choice to make between two good options, but one of those options will cost me something I’d really rather not give up though giving it up is unavoidable in one case.

I separated from the Air Force about 3 years ago and since then I’ve hardly had financial stability or prospects for another good, meaningful line of work. Recently, I’ve had the opportunity to re-enlist, but I turned it down. Though financially unstable and with little financial freedom, I’ve been going back to school for engineering. I discovered another opportunity that could easily evolve into a full-time job at the Air Force Research Lab as an engineer student through a paid internship. I’m not sure what my chances are for landing the internship but because I’m a veteran I have better chance than most in being selected for the job. Through the internship, I’d be starting at $30,000 a year with more earning potential each year that I earn more credits and finally complete my degree. The internship would also pay for my master’s degree.

If I go back to the Reserves, I’d learn a new job in the Air Force but would have to re-train possibly for more than 6 months. Living in another state for 6 months separates me from someone I love very much and when I get back they probably won’t be there. Because he’s in Air Force (we met when I was active duty), he could possibly be moved to another base stateside or overseas.  The cost for me to go back to the Air Force is 6 months to a year separation from him and postponing my degree for a year or more. The Reserves pays around $300 a month and includes health insurance, pension, and other benefits also offered to me as a full-time intern. Even though I’d be working for the Air Force part-time, I could be converted temporarily to active duty if I choose and earn full-time pay with benefits for a time. I’ve wanted to be a part of the military community again, but I’m not sure if going back to the Reserves is the best way for me to do it because of the separation and postponement of my degree progress or potential conflicts between my Reserve obligation and college schedule. Even with those facts, I’m still having difficult feeling totally confident about not going to the Reserves.

What sort of questions should I be asking myself to figure out what’s most important to me? One reason I want the internship is because it allows me more flexibility on where I could live and where I could work. If I move while still in the Reserves, there’s a possibility that I may have to retrain a third time or more to work in another state and still meet my service obligation. One of the reasons I want to go back to Reserves is so that I could return to community where I most felt I belonged, had a lot of confidence-boosting support, and could be recognized for my abilities and character. I haven’t experienced that ever since and I feel that I’m not reaching my full potential working minimum-wage jobs. It’s unsettling to have gone from being a foreign language specialist to living in my car. I’m confused on what to do when there’s nothing currently in place to convince that being homeless won’t happen again and going to Reserves could change that because it could help me get another job. I know the internship for sure would change that.